Skip to content

Funny Things

October 31, 2011

‘Laughter is the best medicine’ is more than a cliche expression to me. The more I laugh, the more I feel happy and healthy (within reason, of course). That’s why I always start my day with a good chuckle…while looking into the mirror.

After spending countless hours reading depressing news, I decided to to make this week’s blogging activity humor-oriented. Here are some funny advertisements that were actually published in newspapers. Although their original purpose was for genuine advertising, they are comedic gold.

Examples:         

1. Free puppies: ½ cocker spaniel, ½ sneaky neighbor’s dog.      (cocker spaniel is a breed of dog)

 2. Nordic Track (exercise equipment) $300 hardly used, call Chubby.

3. 1 man, 7 women hot tub. $850/offer.

4. Nice Parachute – Never opened. Used once.

 

Q&A jokes – some typical examples:

Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
A: Dam.

Q: What do you call a fly with no wings?

A: A walk!

 

Some ‘quickie’ jokes:

1. I went to buy some camouflage trousers for military training the other day but I couldn’t find any.

2. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”

 

A funny story: A guy is talking with his friends about his relationship with his girlfriend. He explains how great their relationship is. He explains, “Her major is communications and mine is theater arts. She communicates well, and I act like I’m listening.”

 

Students: Do you also use humor to relieve stress and feel better? Post a comment on what kind of things you find humorous. Describe it/them. In addition, if you know of a funny joke/story, write it or provide a link to share with classmates. Perhaps if you wanted, you could translate a funny Korean story/joke into English.

Advertisements
51 Comments leave one →
  1. proftodd permalink*
    November 2, 2011 5:27 pm

    A funny Korean story in English.

    A group of women are in a coffee shop discussing their children. One woman tells about her daughter and son, both who have married recently.

    “Oh, my daughter has married a wonderful man. He works hard. He leaves the house early in the morning for work. My daughter gets to sleep late. She has hired a maid to do the housework. In the afternoon she takes golf lesson, and she goes shopping every other day. Her life is grand.”

    The women then inquire about the son.

    “Oh, he has married a terrible woman. She is so lazy. She gets up late. My son has to spend extra money for a maid because she won’t do the housework. She wastes time playing golf and money on clothes. I pity him.”

    • Song Hye In(A) permalink
      November 4, 2011 2:14 pm

      LOL~!!! I think it expresses parent’s thoughts what their sons and daughters doing is always good but others bad.

  2. Gabriel permalink
    November 2, 2011 6:26 pm

    I couldn’t think of any jokes..and I’m a bit shocked that I was such a jokeless person . Well I usually laugh at funny things naturally happening around me rather than talking a joke. To tell a funny story I had to find some interesting jokes through the internet. Here are 3 jokes below.

    1. Wife is the knife which cuts the life but there is no life without a wife.

    2. Three vampires walk into a bar. The bartender looks at him suspiciously, but decides to serve them anyway. “What’ll be, boys?”
    The first vampire says “Blood. Give me blood.”
    The second vampire says “I too wish for blood!”
    The third vampire says “Give me plasma.”
    The Bartender smiles and says “Got it. Two bloods, and a blood-light.”

    3. He asked for a putter, then drove three hundred yards onto the green. Then he asked for a driver and drove the ball to within two feet of the cup. Then he asked for a niblick and got the ball into the cup. “Now I’m in trouble,” he told the caddie.

    “Why?”
    “I don’t know what club to use to get it out.”

    • Song Hye In(A) permalink
      November 4, 2011 2:15 pm

      kkkkkkkkk The second one is very fun!!! kkkkkkkkkk

  3. Lee Hye Jeong (B) permalink
    November 2, 2011 10:24 pm

    I found some humourous things through the internet surfing. One is an interesting and short story. And the other is funny questions and answers.

    There is the story.
    (These two ladies were walking down the street when they came across this frog. The frog said, “Kiss me and I will turn into a handsome Texas oil man.”
    One lady reached down, grabbed the frog and put it in her purse. The other looked at her and said, “Aren’t you going to kiss that frog?” She replied, “Hell no! A talking frog is worth a lot more money than a Texas oil man……”)

    I think this short story is really fresh. The lady seems smart!

    and the Q&A is..
    Q : How can you make mice cold?
    A : Take away the ‘m’ and the mice turns into ice.

    And last, I found one blog that has three humorous stories. So, I post the blog on this comment.^^ I recommend that you click and read this!

    http://blog.naver.com/g2s_academy?Redirect=Log&logNo=140141805103

  4. Jeong Hye rin (B) permalink
    November 3, 2011 1:05 am

    I can’t remember exactly when I heard the interesting story. It is a story about ‘a hare and a tortoise’, but it is different from commonly known as fairy tale.
    The story begins:)

    Once upon a time, there was fighting a tortoise and a hare.
    The hare hit the tortoise because hare was very angry.
    So, the tortoise was flied by hare’s hitting.
    Years later the hare was married, which would be better off.
    Then all of a sudden, the tortoise come to hare, and said “Are you hit me now?”

    The story is based on a hare and a tortoise story, and uses the slow pace of tortoise as the gag. Although this story isn’t funny to you, please read and remember lightly.
    At the end, I think funny pictures in site will be able to relieve classmate’s stress during moments of gloomy. So I recommend the site http://www.izismile.com/.

  5. Mr. H permalink
    November 3, 2011 3:57 pm

    “You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she
    started walking five miles a day when she was 60.
    She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the heck she is.”

    “A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?” The husband says, “What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?” A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, the car won’t start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?” He says: “What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?” Another few days go by, and it’s raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, “Honey, there’s a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?” He says, “What do I look like, Bob Vila?” The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. “Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them,” she says. “Great! How much is that going to cost me?” he snarls. Wife says: “Nothing. He said he’d do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him.” “Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?” asks the husband. “What do I look like,” she says, “Betty Crocker?”

  6. haley permalink
    November 3, 2011 9:26 pm

    In fact, I don’t know any fun story or joke. Usually I laughed at some real life stories. I heard a interesting story in another class. It is a story about Barak Obama and Michalle Obama who live in a white house.

    One day, Barak and Michalle Obama took a dinner in a casual restaurant usual especially. Few days later, the owner of the restaurant visited on the presidential couple and met Michalle Obama seperately after a permission of guards. About 10 minutes later, Michalle told an unexpected story that the owner was a man who crushed on her at high school. After that, the president said “oh, If you married him, you would became a wife of the restaurant owner.”
    At that time, Michalle told confidently
    “No, then the restaurant owner would became a president of this country.” :)kkkk

    Isn’t that Michalle Obama is clever and humorous? I’m very impressed by this story.

    • Song Hye In(A) permalink
      November 4, 2011 2:44 pm

      Wow~ Michalle Obama is very witted person! kkkkk

  7. nbbcrw1(B) permalink
    November 3, 2011 11:53 pm

    I usually do web surfing to watch some funny videos.
    This is the video clip I really like. It is about an older brother and younger brother. The story is based on taking a picture for mom on mother’s day.
    I couldn’t stop laughing wathching their acting. They seems like an amateur actor, but their facial emotion is various and funny. The acting’s continuity is pretty good. You will enjoy this clip and I bet you might want to watch it for many times
    Here is the address of the video clip. Enjoy~
    http://pann.nate.com/video/218431860

  8. OMG permalink
    November 4, 2011 12:51 am

    1. A guy who live in Jeju Island won a trip on the radio…………………….to Jeju Island kkkkkk

    2. He heard that someone slapped on face, and he thought there was a fight in the parent’s room. and he ran into the room!! His father put some skin on his face kkkkkkk

    3. A old woman took a wrong bus, and she said, “I think i got wrong bus…”, then bus driver opened the back door. As soon as she got off the bus, she ran swiftly, and get on the ‘front door’ of the bus kkkkkkkkkk

  9. Song Hye In(A) permalink
    November 4, 2011 2:38 pm

    I’ve searched internet and I found some sites that has many jokes.
    –> http://www.aplusjokes.com
    Below, there are three jokes which I think the best among the jokes in this site.

    1.Beauty Cream

    Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. “Why do you do that mommy?” he asked.
    “To make myself beautiful,” said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.
    “What’s the matter?” asked Little Johnny. “Giving up?”

    2.The Wagon
    It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon-load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise.
    “Hey Willis!!” the farmer yelled. “Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I’ll help you get the wagon up.
    “That’s mighty nice of you, ” Willis answered, “but I don’t think father would like me to.
    “Aw, come on,” the farmer insisted.
    “Well okay,” the boy finally agreed, and added, “but father won’t like it.”
    After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. “I feel a lot better now, but I know father is going to be real upset.
    “Don’t be foolish !” the neighbor said with a smile. “By the way, where is he?
    “Under the wagon!”

    3.Going to School

    Mother: Come on victor you have to get out of bed or you’ll be late for school.
    John: Ahh mum do I have to, all the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me too.
    Mother: Yes you do.
    John: Give me a good reason
    Mother: You’re 34 and your the Principal!

    • Jeong Hye rin(B) permalink
      November 10, 2011 9:54 pm

      Of course, I think third story’s John is student before reading last part!! And, like us, the principal doesn’t like going to school.^-^So funny~

  10. Jo Su Yeon (B) permalink
    November 4, 2011 2:38 pm

    I read some short funny things on the internet. One is an entertaining and humorous short story. The other is an interested Q/A joke.
    Here is the short story.

    -How much-
    A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday.
    He says, “So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?” She says, “Bernie, I want a divorce.” “My goodness,” he says, “I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”

    And the Q/A joke is
    – Police Officer : When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least.
    – Man : You’re wrong, officer, it’s only my hat that makes me look that old.
    The mad didn’t understand that police officer said “55”. Police officer’s “55” means speed, but the man’s “55” means age.

    http://blog.naver.com/PostView.nhn?blogId=toeicblog&logNo=60137218079

    • Jeong Hye rin(B) permalink
      November 10, 2011 10:00 pm

      In first joke, I feel pity for husband..

  11. Nam permalink
    November 4, 2011 8:19 pm

    I don’t know about lots of funny stories. I’ve just heard of funny stries from my English teacher who misses his single life. And here’s the stories he told me.
    A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all of us eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I’m referring to? You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea.” The man lowered his head and said, “Wedding cake.”

  12. Hwang Sung Won (a) permalink
    November 4, 2011 10:46 pm

    This is one episode of 컬투show’s radio story.

    when I drive a motocycle, I saw the red light. So i put on the brake. But it did not act! Fortunately, speed was just 40km/h. I thought if i crashed to sidewalk, i could avoid colliding with a car. I was run into by footpath ramp. I fell to ground and my leg was blooding. I went to hospital. However, the problem is that I had strong footsmell.I feel uneasy. Because I had to take operation and take off the shoes, I went to toilet and wash my foots while watting surgery. I entered the surgery room, I lie on bed wearing my shoes for my bad foot smell. But doctor said to me “take off your shoes”. Ass over tincups, I take off my shoes. During the operation, I thoght my foot smell is too strong even though it’s mine. The nurse covered her nose and she went to window. And opend it. The hospital was first floor. I was so sorry to her and embrassng. Then, doctor shouted to her “How could you open the window?!!” I thought he worry about my feeling. But he told her “How can you handle if passersby think hospital is smelling!!!!!” That moment, Me, nurse and doctor laugh.

    • Jeong Hye rin(B) permalink
      November 10, 2011 10:10 pm

      I think he was so ashamed and nervous. So, during reading it, I feel like there is a footsmell……..

  13. Kim yi eun(A) permalink
    November 5, 2011 12:26 am

    -Funny story-
    A Talking Frog

    An older gentleman was playing a round of golf. Suddenly his ball sliced and landed in a shallow pond. As he was attempting to retrieve the ball he discovered a frog who, to his great surprise, started to speak! “Kiss me, and I will change into a beautiful princess, and I will be yours for a week.” He picked up the frog and placed it in his pocket. As he continued to play golf, the frog repeated its message. “Kiss me, and I will change into a beautiful princess, and I will be yours for a whole month!” The man continued to play his golf game and once again the frog spoke out. “Kiss me,and I will change into a beautiful princess, and I will be yours for a whole year!” Finally, the old man turned to the frog and exclaimed, “At my age, I’d rather have a talking frog!”

    1. How can you spell mousetrap in three letters?
    2. How can you make mice cold?
    3. If mouse lost its tail, where would it get a new one?

    The answer is….?

    Think about it!!

    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    1)C-A-T.
    2)Take away the m and they turn into ice.
    3)At a retail(‘retail’) store

  14. November 5, 2011 1:39 am

    Funny Story

    -Mother and Son-

    Mother scolded her son because of his grade.
    “Why can’t you study well?” “Please, stay home and keep study hard”

    Then the son confidently tells his mother without apologizing.
    “Mom, don’t you know Edison? Edison also didn’t study well, but he became an great inventor. Studying is not all.”

    In the end, Mom was so angry that she shout at her son.
    “However, Edison spoke English well.

  15. Hong Jung Eun permalink
    November 5, 2011 2:50 pm

    It’s a funny story from my friend.

    It’s the stoty about my friend’s teacer. It happened when my friend was a high school student. His homeroom teacher treated everything as a very tiresome business.

    One day, My friend and two of his friends wanted to go to soccer stadium. To see that game, they had to leave school during the school hours. So, they plaaned to meet the teacher in different order. Firstly, my friend went to his teacher’s office and told the teacher that he has stomachache. His teacher let him go, of course. After 10 minutes, when one of his friend, who always stammers, went to the teacher’s room and started to say “T..T..Teacher”, the teacher let him go, too. Lastly, the third friend went to the office with his little finger shaken. It was a fake, but the teacher also let him go without seeing him.
    Finally, Three friends were very delighted to go to soccer game.

    However, a few days later, my friend went to his teacher’s office to hand in his assignment and he saw a studend record on the table, accidently. Curiously He opened and read it. There was a record about the three student’s reasons for leaving school. The teacher wrote the reason of my friend was a diarrhea. The second friend’s was a speech disorder. The last one’s reason was written with only one chinese letter. That was a 風, which means a stroke.

  16. Star permalink
    November 5, 2011 7:34 pm

    One is an short story. It’s a dialogue in hospital. And the other is a humorous question and answer.

    A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.”
    The doctor asks, “What do you mean?”
    The man says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee, OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.”
    The doctor says, “I know what’s wrong with you……
    You’ve broken your finger!”

    A : Why is six afraid of seven?
    B : Because seven, eight, nine. I mean seven ate nine.

    • mina kim (a) permalink
      November 6, 2011 2:40 pm

      the first story was funny. i liked it:)

  17. Elly permalink
    November 5, 2011 8:08 pm

    I ask you some questions.
    1. What starts with “T”, ends with “T” and is full of “T”?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    The answer is …. a TeapoT!!!kk a teapot is filled with “tea”. kk

    2. Why was 9 afraid of 7?:
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    7,8,9 (7 ate 9) kkkk

    3. She goes to a restaurant, finishes her meal, then presents the waiter with two complaints! one, the food was awful, and, two, there wasn’t enough of it.

  18. yujin(B) permalink
    November 5, 2011 9:31 pm

    A lawyer’s dog, running around town unleashed, heads for butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher goes to the lawyer’s office and asks, “if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from mt store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog’s owner?” The lawyer answers, “Absolutely.”

    “Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today.”

    The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. The butcher, having a feeling of satisfaction, leaves.

    Three days later, the butcher finds a bill from the lawyer: $100 due for a consultation.

  19. bliss^.^(A) permalink
    November 5, 2011 10:38 pm

    1.I heard this from my professor during the class. 

    Beautiful and beauiful
    Do you know the difference between them? The last one means… Beautiful without “t”
    In korea, it means something like…pure beauty!

    2. One man was sleeping in the subway opening his mouth wide periodically. The students who was sitting next to him strated pushing their fingers at the very moment that he opened it wide. It was thrilling and funny so they laughed when they succeeded it. The woman who was sitting very next to him and seeing it laughed loudly than any other people. 10 minutes later, she prepared to get off the subway and shouted to him who was sleeping, “Wake up, we arrived! Honey”

  20. KimTaeGyeong(A) permalink
    November 5, 2011 11:38 pm

    I want to tell you about my experience.When I was elementary school student, I had to go to the academy everyday as a Korean student.There were some students in the class, So, we spent a lot of times sharing hobbies.(Soccer, playing game, etc.). Oneday, we were taking a class as usual. One of my friends and I chatted about playing soccer at the park after class. Although he wanted to play soccer, he had to go right back home after class because it was his grandmother’s birthday. Ironically, he and I were so sorry about it because we really loved soccer! Thus, My friend decided to call to his mother to tell a lie. Then, he shout to teacher
    “Grandma, may I go to the park please? ” instead,
    “Teacher, may I go to the bathroom. please?.” kkk
    As a result , he couldn’t go anywhere becuase he had to leave in the academy.for punishment.

  21. mina kim (a) permalink
    November 6, 2011 2:17 pm

    it’s normal for me to read and laugh with funny stories written in korean.
    usually something dirty or sexual makes me funny..
    i don’t know the reason but i think many people feel funny and ridiculous with bizarre behavior or situation as like me.
    heres an example of sexual funny story. i found it in website http://www.onlyfunnystories.com/
    if you want to read more, you can find lots of interesting stories there.
     
     
    the story i found->
     
    The college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class, and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late.
    Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student’s immediate family.
    A ‘smart’ student in the back of the classroom waved his hand and spoke up. “But what about extreme sexual exhaustion, professor?”
    As you would expect, the class exploded in laughter. When the students had finally settled down, the professor froze the young man with a glaring look.
    “Well,” he responded, “I guess you’ll just have to learn to write with your other hand.”

  22. Lia(B) permalink
    November 6, 2011 4:40 pm

    1. Grandfather’s dementia

    One day grandfather bought the book “How to avoid dementia” to prepare the dementia.
    Next day, he bought the same book.

    Because he was already dementia.

    2. Freind of bad intellectal power

    One day a boy scolded by his mother because he got a bad grade.
    His mother said “This bad grade’s reason is your friends. Your friends have bad intelligence and you are getting similar to them. From now on, you have to make friends who have high intlligence”.
    Then, the boy played with the intelligent friends, and those friends’ intelligence became lower.
    Because the smart friends were getting similar to the boy! kk

  23. Bianca(B) permalink
    November 6, 2011 7:26 pm

    There is interesting joke that I heard from my roommate.
    I fully understand the husband`s mind because I am also a user of smart phones.
    On the other hand It is sad to rely on electronic products.

    Wife : Honey, when you die, I will bury your cell phone with you.
    Husband : Then can you make my grave in WIFI zone?

  24. Ahn je ho(a) permalink
    November 6, 2011 8:04 pm

    I use humor as a weapon. Actually I think I am quite funny. But everytime I make jokes. My friends don’t laugh. I think my friends are quite tough audiences. So usually I failed to make them laugh. But right after I give up to make jokes, they are giggling like crazy pony. Isn’t this story fun? So from now on I will not try to make any jokes and then I will become the funniest guy in the world.

    If you still let me make jokes, here it is.
    ‘I am funny’

  25. KoalaCoala permalink
    November 6, 2011 8:14 pm

    I found this funny story on internet
    This is humorous story which related to drunken man

    – Glad to be drunk –
    A completely drunken man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.
    A cop pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in, pal. You’re obviously drunk.”
    Our wasted friend asked, “Officer, are ya absolutely sure I’m drunk?”
    “Yeah, buddy, I’m sure,” said the copper. “Let’s go.”
    Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, “Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled.”

    This story is so funny for me because I have had a mistake by drinking a lot.
    Everyone should drink moderately so that this situation will not happen again^^

  26. Park Ji Su (B) permalink
    November 6, 2011 8:25 pm

    One day, a woman had a terrible toothache.
    One of her teeth was rotten.
    She screamed and yelled in pain.
    Three days later, she got the dentist’s bill.
    She was very upset!
    The bill was very high.
    She called the dentist.
    “Why is my bill so high? It’s too expensive.”
    She asked.
    “Yes, I know.” said the dentist.
    “You yelled loudly. Two other patients left!”

  27. (B) HSA permalink
    November 6, 2011 9:56 pm

    I usually enjoy jokes that point out the facts, and sometimes criticize the facts as well. I also like situation-jokes which I have to know the whole story to laugh at, but this is only usually when I am watching tv show. Here’s a joke that I found online. It’s 10 advancatages of being a woman. I find this list funny even though it’s a little big mean because some of them are actually true.

    1. We got off the Titanic first.

    2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

    3. Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

    4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

    5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

    6. We’ve never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

    7. Taxis stop for us.

    8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

    9. We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

    10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies … (you get the point).

  28. November 6, 2011 10:41 pm

    Funny Stories.
    1.
    The telephone rings in the principal’s office at a school. “Hello, this is Dunn Elementary,” answers the principal. “Hi. Jimmy won’t be able to come to school all next week,” replies the voice. “Well, what seems to be the problem with him?” “We are all going on a family vacation,” says the voice, “I hope it is all right.” “I guess that would be fine,” says the principal. “May I ask who is calling?” “Sure. This is my father!”

    2.
    “Give me all your money or youre Algebra!” “You mean History?” “Dont change the subject!”

  29. (b)Puella permalink
    November 6, 2011 11:57 pm

    FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite.

    The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues. The following telephone conversation took place and was recorded by the FBI because they were taping all conversations at the hospital.

    Agent: Hello. I’d like to order 19 large pizzas and 3 cases of soda.

    Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?

    Agent: We’re over at the psychiatric hospital.

    Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?

    Agent: That’s right. I’m an FBI agent.

    Pizza Man: You’re an FBI agent?

    Agent: That’s correct. Just about everybody here is.

    Pizza Man: And you’re at the psychiatric hospital?

    Agent: That’s correct. And make sure you don’t go through the front doors. We have them locked. You’ll have to go around to the back service entrance to deliver the pizzas.

    Pizza Man: And you say you’re all FBI agents there?

    Agent: That’s right. How soon can you have them here?

    Pizza Man: Everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent?

    Agent: That’s right. We’ve been here all day and we’re starving.

    Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this?

    Agent: We’ve collected a pool of cash.

    Pizza Man: And you’re all FBI agents?

    Agent: Yes.

    Pizza Man: With guns?

    Agent: That’s right. Now, can you remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked.

    Pizza Man: You must be crazy!

  30. Chaily permalink
    November 7, 2011 12:36 am

    ㄴㅇㄹㄴㅇㄹ

  31. Son Eun Kyeong(B) permalink
    November 7, 2011 12:43 am

    The Smart Blonde

    A blonde woman boards an airplane. She is extremely exhausted and just wants to take a nap. She finally finds her seat and sits down next to a very curious young man.

    He wants to test the whole dub blonde thing and possibly make some money out of it. “Hey, wanna play a game?” he asks her. “No thank you, i just want to take a nap.” “Please, its really easy, all you have to do is answer the questions that i ask you. If you don’t know the answer, then you give me five dollars, and if I don’t know the answer to your question, then Ill give you five dollars.”

    “I really don’t want to do this. I just want to take a nap.”

    “Oh but PLEASE pretty please. Okay, how about if I don’t know the answer to your question, I’ll give you five hundred dollars.” The blonde woman became interested and decided to play the game.

    “Okay. How many moons does jupiter have?” the young man asked. The woman reached into her purse and took out a five dollar bill. “What goes up the mountain with three legs and comes back down with four?”.

    The young man, determined not to lose, gets out his laptop and searches all over the internet for an answered. Flustered and confused, the young man hand the blonde five hundred dollars.

    After a few hours, the young man was itching to know the answer to the question.”What was the answer to the riddle?” the blonde woman reached into her purse and handed the young man a five dollar bill.

  32. Olivia 2 permalink
    November 7, 2011 3:24 am

    There is a funny story about Panda.

    A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

    “Why?” asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit.

    The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder. “I’m a panda,” he says, at the door.

    “Look it up.” The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation…

    “Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China.
    Eats, shoots and leaves.”

  33. November 7, 2011 5:40 am

    An old Italian gentleman lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult to work because he were too old to dig the ground. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son

    ‘Dear Vincent, I’m feeing sad because it looks like I won’t be able to plany my tomato this year. I’m getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here, my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days. Love, Papa’

    A few days later, he received a letter from his son.

    ‘Dear Papa, Don’t dig up that garden.
    That’s where the bodies are buried.
    LOVE, Vinne’

    The next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old mand and left.
    Also,after then, he received another letter from his son.

    ‘Dear Papa, Go ahead and plant tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances. Love you, Vinne’

  34. Chaily permalink
    November 7, 2011 1:45 pm

    What doesn’t this work?!

  35. Rina You (A) permalink
    November 8, 2011 1:04 pm

    1. Q&A jokes
    Q : why did sam put his trumpet in the refrigerator?
    A : Because he likes cool music.

    2. Peter was on the bus with his grandma. Suddenly he wanted to go to the restroom. So he cried, “I have to pee!” Everyone heard him. His grandma was embarrassed. They got off at the next stop to go to the nearest restroom. Then his grandma said, “Next time you want to go to the restroom, say ‘I want to sing!’, I’ll know what you mean.”
    Peter and his grandma had a nice day together and then came back home.

    When he was in his bed, he wanted to go to the bathroom, so he said, “Mom, I want to sing!” His mom replied, “Not this late at night. The neighbors will call the police!” Peter said, ” I really, really, REALLY want to sing!” His mom said, “OK, if you really want to sing, sing quietly into my ear.”

    3. Season that elephant grandfather smokes once upon a time ancient times, there was ultra school in the village that what mouse lives.
    There were orion and Goraebap in the school, orion started problem to Goraebap.
    Mouse which walk on hair ?
    Orion that speak that is, and whale victim that reply straightforwardly .
    It is Mickey Mouse!
    Orion praised to Goraebap.
    Self-respect upper limit Goraebap started problem.
    A dog which walk on hair ?
    Orion is dogskin straightforwardly!
    It is la and spoke.
    Finally, orion in agony end, started problem to Goraebap.
    Corrupt official which walk on hair ?
    Goraebap set straightforwardly.
    Donald Duck !
    It is..
    But, speak that orion was mistaken.
    Really answer ?
    Answer : Duck why ?
    Corrupt official walks on hair!

  36. Yoo Ho Yeon permalink
    November 8, 2011 7:44 pm

    1.A married couple are driving along in a car when they are pulled over by a cop.
    “Sir.”
    says the cop.
    “Do you realize that you were driving without a seat belt?”
    “Sorry, officer.”
    the guy replies.
    “We just pulled out of the market and I must have forgotten to put it on.”
    Then the wife speaks up.
    “But Darling, you know you never wear it anyway.”
    With that the man goes mad.
    “You stupid ugly, why can’t you keep your fat mouth closed for once?”
    The cop is shocked by this outburst.
    “Does he always talk to you like that?”
    “Oh no officer, only when he’s been drinking.”

    2.

    Q : Do you know why nine afraid of seven?
    A :Because seven eight nine.
    (seven ate nine)

  37. Chaily permalink
    November 9, 2011 12:17 am

    I’m sorry, but somehow my comment’s got evaporated after I pressed “Post Comment.” Apologize for tadiness.

    I used to be able to think of a number of jokes, though mostly inappropriate in a traditional sense, so, here’s some mildness.
    http://www.coolfunnyjokes.com/Funny-Jokes/Bar-Jokes/A-Really-Bad-Day.html

    I think it’s called the “Murphy’s Law.” But, in the end, it seem possible to be transmitted by a guy who conducted a harmless prank.

  38. Chaily permalink
    November 9, 2011 12:19 am

    I’m sorry, but somehow my comment’s got evaporated after I pressed “Post Comment.” Apologize for tadiness. (This is my 6th try though.)

    I used to be able to think of a number of jokes, though mostly inappropriate in a traditional sense, so, here’s some mildness.

    I think it’s called the “Murphy’s Law.” But, in the end, it seem possible to be transmitted by a guy who conducted a harmless prank.

    • Chaily permalink
      November 9, 2011 12:20 am

      A Really Bad Day –
      There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
      Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand to see a man cry.”
      “No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away.”
      “I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.”

  39. Panda0928(B) permalink
    November 10, 2011 2:26 pm

    1.Grape Diet

    Fat man started the one food diet.
    he eat only grape.
    one day he fall down.
    his mother shocked and rushed to the hospital.
    And asked docter.
    “my son is malnutrition?”
    “No. ….. he is agrichemical poisoning.”

    2. Dad’s expectations
    one little boy always at the bottom of his class.
    So his dad talking to his son,
    “I have a suggestion: If you get out at the bottom of your class, i wish your hope. but when once again you’re not my son anymore.”
    after day, little boy hit the test.
    Dad told his son.
    “Yeah, what`s your test?”
    Say a boy.
    “Who’s this guy?”

  40. ED xotjr permalink
    November 11, 2011 11:15 pm

    -A couple and a cop-

    A married couple are driving along in a car
    when they are pulled over by a cop.
    “Sir.” says the cop.
    “Do you realize that you were driving without a seat belt?”
    “Sorry, officer.” the guy replies.
    “We just pulled out of the market and
    I must have forgotten to put it on.”
    Then the wife speaks up.
    “But Darling, you know you never wear it anyway.”
    With that the man goes mad.
    “You stupid ugly, why can’t you keep your
    fat mouth closed for once?”
    The cop is shocked by this outburst.
    “Does he always talk to you like that?”
    “Oh no officer,
    only when he’s been drinking.”

  41. jasmine permalink
    November 25, 2011 10:17 pm

    Poor guy
    A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

    He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife:

    “Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.” If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”

    To which his wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!”

  42. Choi Jung An permalink
    December 16, 2011 10:43 am

    I usually found funny stories on the internet. These stories are true. I introduce an story.
    Two girls wnet to cafe. They found two handsome guys across the table. Girls gave men the eyes. Guys noticed girls eyes. After exchainging glances each other, one of the girls approached the men. When she tried to say to them, one man said ” Do you want to get our phone number? I’m sorry but we are gay. ” The girl was shocked and hurted pride. So she said that ” You’ve got it all wrong. I just wanted to know about the name of bread you eat And I’m also a lesbian! ” This time, the guys were shocked. The girl went back her table and said to the other girl ” Honey, Let’s go “

  43. July 14, 2012 5:37 pm

    Thank you for sharing your info. I really appreciate your efforts and I am waiting for your further post
    thanks once again.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: