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In Need of a Laugh

March 25, 2013

‘Laughter is the best medicine’ is more than a cliche expression to me. The more I laugh, the more I feel happy and healthy. That’s why I always start my day with a good chuckle..by looking into the mirror.

Most news seems to be depressing, so this week’s blogging activity is  humor-oriented. Here are some funny advertisements that were actually published in newspapers. Although their original purpose was for genuine advertising, they are comedic gold.

Examples:

1. Free puppies: ½ cocker spaniel, ½ sneaky neighbor’s dog.      (cocker spaniel is a breed of dog)

2. Nordic Track (exercise equipment) $300 hardly used, call Chubby.

3. 1 man, 7 women hot tub. $850/offer.

4. Nice Parachute – Never opened. Used once.

 

Q&A jokes (question and answer)

Typical examples:

Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
A: Dam!

Q: What do you call a fly with no wings?

A: A walk.

Q: Why is the number 6 afraid of the number 7.

A: Because 7 ate 9.

 

Some ‘quickie’ jokes:

1. I went to buy some camouflage trousers for military training the other day but I couldn’t find any.

2. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”

 

A funny story: A guy is talking with his friends about his relationship with his girlfriend. He explains how great their relationship is. He explains, “Her major is communications and mine is theater arts. She communicates well, and I act like I’m listening.”

 

Students: Do you also use humor to relieve stress and feel better? Post a comment on what kind of things you find humorous. Describe it/them. In addition, if you know of a funny joke/story, write it. If you wanted, you could translate a funny Korean story/joke into English.

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74 Comments leave one →
  1. lullu+C2 permalink
    March 27, 2013 2:13 am

    There are 2 Q&A jokes. Try to guess 😀

    1.
    Q: Why do seagulls live near the sea?
    A: Because if they lived near the bay, they would be called bagels.

    2.
    Q: Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?
    A: To the retail store.

    First joke is from similarity between pronunciation seagull[si:gʌl] and bagel[beɪgl].
    Actually, bagel is not a gull. it’s food. But this word seems plausible.

    Second one is from a creative idea that the origin of the word ‘retail’ comes from ‘tail’
    What is more interesting is logical and perfact combination in that dogs have tails and retail is an activity of selling goods.

    • Nellyboys permalink
      March 27, 2013 10:18 am

      HAha!!! Retail was fun!!!!

    • Dreamcatcher C2 permalink
      March 30, 2013 12:25 am

      oh…..bagels.. thats sad and funny lol

    • Chiodos(T) permalink
      March 30, 2013 7:51 am

      I like the second one, ‘to the retail store.’

  2. Nellyboys C2 permalink
    March 27, 2013 10:47 am

    Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?

    -> There are two kinds of radio frequency in radion syste. One is FM and the other is AM. Also in the time system, AM time is from 12o’clock midnight to 12o’clock noon and PM is from 12o’clock noon to 12o’clock midnight. It puts time system into radio system.

    What do you call a male ladybug?

    -> Bug’s name is ladybug, also they are male and female to breed their species. Name has the word, lady, it makes fun of it.

    Test your IQ with the question below:

    There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one’s teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?

    Think about it first before scrolling down for the answer…answer is at the bottom of the page……..

    He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.

    First story gets into people’s thought and then people think next story through the first story. And when they get to know the answer, they notice their mistake ans laugh.

    • Chiodos(T) permalink
      March 30, 2013 7:54 am

      I passed your IQ test ha!
      It’s confusing when we say ‘male ladybug.’
      seems like no match haha

  3. transformer(C2) permalink
    March 27, 2013 1:16 pm

    1.
    Q What does a lion do on a canoe?
    A Use his roar

    2.
    It’s just kidding
    No, it’s adulting

    First one is using the two words, “oar” and “roar”. A oar is a paddle which is used in canoe and roar means a sound.
    the two words are similar in pronounciation.
    We can imagine a roaring lion and a oaring lion simultaneously.

    Second one is using kid-adult antonym relation and two different meaning of “kid”.
    It’s just kidding originally means “it is a joke”
    But in this joke, “It’s adulting” make “It’s just kidding” sound like “Here is a kid.”

    • Emily Jeong permalink
      March 28, 2013 10:39 pm

      hahaha really fun!! ^-^

    • Chiodos(T) permalink
      March 30, 2013 7:55 am

      adulting! hahaha
      I should use this one to my foreign friends thanks!

  4. jenny C1 permalink
    March 27, 2013 2:04 pm

    To have glasses, some guy went to shop which sell glasses. A Clerk first tested his eyes. According to a order of the clerk he put his eyes on a machine which is checked eyes. Then, the clerk said, “Can you see well or not?” He said “I can’t see anything.” for 5minutes the clerk continued to ask him that. He also continued to tell him “I can’t see anything.” Soon after, the clerk seriously told him “I think you lose your sight of left eye.” As soon as he heard, “Are you mad? I go the shop by myself.” In fact, the clerk didn’t open a hole of left eye which he can see through the machine. He couldn’t see anything. Then, he tell the clerk to open the hole of left eye. The clerk’s face instantly blushed.

    • Chiodos(T) permalink
      March 30, 2013 7:58 am

      Hmm unprofessional the clerk is. Nice story.

  5. Mary C1 permalink
    March 27, 2013 3:03 pm

    When I was senior, my classroom teacher made a slogan to stimulate the students. She wrote “Your mother is watching over you.” At first, every students were laughed at the slogan, however, teacher changed the writing since some students chuckled at the words that made the class air somehow blowing. Sometimes when I remind of it, smiling on my face and I appreciate the teacher for her sensitive manner.

  6. JWJWJW(T) permalink
    March 27, 2013 3:35 pm

    It was my funny story when I was a middle school student. At that time, calling just the first two words of names was very popular in my middle school. For example, if a student’s name is ‘Kim Jae Won’, we call him ‘Kim Jae’. There was a student named ‘Yoon Ji-Eun’, and she was one of my best friends. According to the fad, most students including me called her ‘Yoon Ji’. She and I were very close to each other, so we went to a same English language institute. One day, my mother wanted to ask something about English education and tried to contact with Ji-Eun’s mother. Ji-Eun gave her mother’s cell number to me, and I passed it to my mother. Then she contacted with my best friend’s mother and said, “Hello! May I talk to ‘Yoon Ji”s mother?” However, Ji-eun’s mother answered, “No. I think you have got the wrong number.” My mother kept asking whether she was ‘Yoon Ji”s mother or not, but Ji-Eun’s mother said that she was not ‘Yoon Ji”s mother. It was because that Ji-eun’s mother didn’t know that her daughter was called as ‘Yoon Ji’ and thought that my mother was looking for a mother of girl whose name was ‘Yoon-ji’. I came back from school and heard that story and laughed loudly. I explained about the fad about a name in my middle school to my mother, and she realized the reason why Ji-Eun’s mother said she was not ‘Yoon-ji”s mother. It was the funny story that makes me smile until now.

    • Christine(T) permalink
      March 31, 2013 11:46 pm

      Your story recalls me of the fad at that time. I have similar experience with you.

  7. gdlabel(T) permalink
    March 27, 2013 10:38 pm

    1. People prefer to get a 1000 won bill rather than two 500 won coins.
    2. Elephants is afraid of mice.
    3. It was not until the Civil war that Americans use forks at the table.
    4. There is no oriental melon in Japan.
    5. Tomato and Cherry tomato have no nutritional difference.
    6. when you push the F5 key on the computer memo program, the current time comes out.
    7. Your face is a person’s face whom you loved in a previous life.
    8. It’s impossible to sneeze and open your eyes at the same time.
    9. In fact, mice don’t like cheese.
    10. Men have a longer ring finger than index finger and Women is the opposite.
    11. Ants hate salt.
    12. After human lose their head, they stay awake for 10 seconds.
    13. A bird flying freely tremble with fear always.
    14. A rubber band keeps a long time in refrigerator.
    15. You can not snore with your eyes open.

    It can be rather fun because these are too obvious or unreasonable argument.

    • gdlabel(T) permalink
      March 27, 2013 10:45 pm

      Sorry, the title is missing.^^;;;

  8. gdlabel(T) permalink
    March 27, 2013 10:46 pm

    The title is “Some amazing Cases We didn’t Know.”

  9. James C1 permalink
    March 28, 2013 12:28 am

    I find myself laughing when I hear humors that have something to do with basic instinct.(It means I like dirty, and sexual stuffs…) But I find other things interesting too. It’s just that I like those kind of stuff most.. Here are some examples that are not dirty or sexual(I ve tried to translate them as smooth as possible but I think it didnt go well.)

    Q. Why do I always feel like cleaning whenever I try to study?
    A. Yeah I feel like cleaning up so much that I want to clean my books. (In Korean, cleaning also means putting things away.)

    Q.If the world were not round, but rectangle, what would the world be like?
    A. MInecraft

  10. Clock-C1 permalink
    March 28, 2013 12:50 am

    In this month, there was The World Figure Skating Championships, which Kim Yuna won in. Now what Kim Yuna wins in figure skating competitions is a matter of course, but a few years ago, the structure of a competition between Kim Yuna and Asada Mao has been made by the Japanese media, not to mention nowadays.
    After Kim Yuna won the game, I saw a comment in a website. ”God gave Asada Mao the gift of figure skating, but the god participated in the championships with her.” As soon as I read the comment, I laughed out!!hahahahahahaha. Anyone can realize that the god is Kim Yuna, when he or she read it.

    • Chiodos(T) permalink
      March 30, 2013 7:00 am

      Hahaha poor Asada Mao. Competing with the god.

  11. Emily Jeong permalink
    March 28, 2013 10:35 pm

    “My Dog Named Sex”
    Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him “Rover” or “Spot.
    I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog’s license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex.
    He said, “I would like to have one too!” Then I said, “But she is a dog!”
    He said he didn’t care what she looked like. I said, “You don’t understand. … I have had Sex since I was nine years old.”
    He replied, “You must have been quite a strong boy.”
    When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding.
    He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, “But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex.”
    He said he didn’t want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding.
    The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.
    When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex.
    He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, “You don’t understand. … Sex keeps me awake at night.”
    The clerk said, “Me too!”
    One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets.
    “You don’t understand,” I said, “I hoped to have Sex on TV.” He called me a show off.
    When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, “Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married.”
    The Judge said, “Me too!” Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o’clock in the morning.
    I said, “I’m looking for Sex.” — My case comes up next Thursday. Well now I’ve been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw.
    Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, “What seems to be the trouble?” I replied, “Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn’t live any longer so lonely.” and the doctor said, “Look mister, you should understand that sex isn’t a man’s best friend so get yourself a dog.”

    • Emily Jeong permalink
      March 28, 2013 10:38 pm

      CR2 – Todd

    • Chiodos(T) permalink
      March 30, 2013 7:09 am

      hahaha this is crazy. I love the last part, get yourself a dog. So funny

    • Christine(T) permalink
      March 31, 2013 11:44 pm

      This is kind of a play on words. I know this kind of funny story. Its name is “Who’s on first?”
      You can search it by internet! kk

  12. Clare permalink
    March 28, 2013 11:02 pm

    Clare (CR2 – Todd)
    To be honest, I don’t know English joke….so I bring these jokes from internet! please enjoy it!

    1. Did you hear how Moses got the ten commandments? God was coming down the mountain and the first person he came across was not Moses. It was a Roman.
    He asked the Roman if he wanted any commandments? The Roman replied, What’s a commandment?” God said, “Thou shalt not kill.” The Roman replied, “Hell no! We’re a warring nation. That’s how we make our living.” So God went on down the mountain. The next guy he came across was a nomadic tribesman. He asked this guy if he wanted a commandment. The guy replied, “What’s a commandment?” God said, “Thou shalt not steal.”
    The guy said, “Hell no! That’s how we make our living.” So God went on down the mountain. The next guy he came across was Moses with a bunch of little Jews following him.
    God asked Moses, “Do you want any commandments?” Moses asked, “How much are they?” God said, “They’re free.” Moses replied “Yea sure, we’ll take ten…..”

    2. What starts with “T”, ends with “T” and is full of “T”?
    -> The answer is “A teapot”
    teapot has first and last “T” and is full of “tea”

    3. An amateur photographer friend was invited to dinner and took along a few pictures.
    The hostess looked at his work and exclaimed,
    “These are very good. You must have an excellent camera.”
    Later, as my friend was departing, he turned to the hostess and said,
    “That was a delicious meal. You must have some exellent pots.”

    4.What is the longest word in the English language??

    -> The letter is “m”

  13. choco(T) permalink
    March 28, 2013 11:35 pm

    I have three intereting things.

    1.
    A: I have the perfect son.
    B: Does he smoke?
    A: No, he doesn’t.
    B: Does he drink whiskey?
    A: No, he doesn’t.
    B: Does he ever come home late?
    A: No, he doesn’t.
    B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
    A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

    2.
    A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
    The doctor says, “I have some good news and some bad news.”
    The man says, “OK, give me the good news first.”
    The doctor says, “The good news is, you have 24 hours to live.”
    The man replies, “Oh no! If that’s the good news, then what’s the bad news?”
    The doctor says, “The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.”

    3.

    2+2= fish
    3+3= eight
    7+7= triangle

    Only smart people would get this.
    ^-^

  14. Christine(T) permalink
    March 28, 2013 11:57 pm

    I found this story in internet by trying to find simple and effective in both korean and english.

    Title : Do not argue with ladies

    I am sure that the taxi cab driver learnt that it pays to keep
    your mouth shut is some situations
    A woman and her ten-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Montreal.
    It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under the
    awnings.
    “Mom” said the boy “what are all those women doing?”
    “They’re waiting for their husbands to get off work” she
    replied.
    The taxi driver turns around and says “Geez lady, why don’t you tell him the truth? They’re hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money.”
    The little boy’s eyes get wide and he says “Is that true Mom?”
    His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers in the
    affirmative.
    After a few minutes, the kid asks “Mom, what happens to the babies those women have?”
    “Most of them become taxi drivers” she said.

    • Christine(T) permalink
      March 29, 2013 12:10 am

      I usually watch an interesting entertainment programs in television when I relieve stress. Entertainment programs such as infinitive challenge, one night two days and running man help very much when I feel stressful. In addition, Gag Concert is one of my favorite television program. By watching it, I imagine what will happen if those fraud things happen in real life. This hypothesis always make me laugh and remove my stress. I found this short story in internet and it might be helpful for you to laugh. Hope to enjoy.

  15. Lora(T) permalink
    March 29, 2013 1:21 am

    I found this story in the internet. I hope you enjoy it!

    This is a true story related by my product manager, Mike. His next door neighbor, we’ll call her Jane, has two dogs that she adores. One day she comes home and finds one of the dogs missing. After a frantic search, she locates the dog in the yard of another neighbor who is away on vacation. This neighbor keeps rabbits in cages, and her dog is running around the yard with one of the white fluffy rabbits in its mouth, jerking it back and forth like dogs will do with a fresh catch. The rabbit is obviously dead. Horrified, Jane grabs the dog and takes the rabbit back to her house. Hoping to disguise the rabbit’s untimely death as due to natural causes, she gives the dead rabbit a bath and blow dries its white fluffy fur to hide the teeth marks, and then puts it back in the cage. She goes to discuss it with Mike, who counsels her to not say anything to the neighbor. A few later, the neighbor comes back from vacation and pays a visit to Mike to tell him the news.
    “While l was gone, some psychotic bastard come around and dug up my dead rabbit, washed and dried it, then in the cage. I can’t believe somebody would be that sick.”

  16. rainbow(T) permalink
    March 29, 2013 9:46 am

    There is a few funny questions about alphabet. It’s like non-sense quiz!(Answers are on the bottom)

    1) Which alphabet is a bug?

    2) Which alphabet is on the face?

    3) Which alphabet can you drink?

    4) Which letter does come to the end of everything?

    1) B (bee) 2) I (eye) 3) T(tea) 4) g (everything) ^-^

  17. Seven C2 permalink
    March 29, 2013 11:15 am

    #1 A funny story
    One day, a kid was curious about God. So he asked his curiosity to his mother.

    Kid: Mom, is God a boy or a girl?
    Mother: Well, God is both boy and girl.
    Kid: Mom, is God black or white?
    Mother: Well, God is both black and white.
    Kid: Mom, is God straight or gay?
    Mother: God is both straight and gay.

    Mother wanted to teach him What the real God was without prejudice.
    After mother’s reply, he was thinking about God. Suddenly he seemed to get the point and then asked again.

    Kid: Mom Is God Michael Jackson?

    #2 quickie joke
    Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.

    I gave him a glass of water

    #3 Q&A joke
    Q. What did the lawyer name his daughter?
    A. Sue.

  18. Karen C1 permalink
    March 29, 2013 11:34 am

    A little boy wanted $100 to buy a new bike, and his mother told him to pray to God for it. He prayed and prayed for two weeks, but nothing turned up. Then he decided perhaps he should write God a letter requesting the $100.00. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, they opened it up and decided to send it to the President. The President was so impressed, touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a check for $5.00. He thought that this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank-you letter to God, which read:
    Dear God;
    Thank you very much for the money. I noticed that you had to send it through Washington. As usual, they deducted $95.00 for themselves.

  19. Lemon tree -C2 permalink
    March 29, 2013 11:38 am

    I will introduce a funny story. It is a episode of my friend when she traveled to America with her friend.

    About 2 years ago, she and her friend traveled to New York in America. One day, they went to McDonald to eat lunch. They were hesitant to order. Because, she and her friend were not good at speaking English. Suddenly her friend stood up and walked up to counter. After a few minutes, she came back with hamburgers and said “we have to go out here.” “Why?”, my friend asked. “Because we are two!!”

    Do you understand? When she ordered, the clerk at the counter asked “for here? to go?”. But she understood ‘four here, two go.’

  20. Leblanc (C2) permalink
    March 29, 2013 12:06 pm

    1. Funny story

    These two ladies were walking down the street when they came across this frog. The frog said, “Kiss me and I will turn into a handsome Texas oil man.”

    One lady reached down, grabbed the frog and put it in her purse. The other looked at her and said, “Aren’t you going to kiss that frog?” She replied, “Hell no! A talking frog is worth a lot more money than a Texas oil man……”

    2. a nonsense quiz

    – How can you make mice cold?

    -> The answer is ‘Take away the m and they turn into ice.’

    – If mouse lost its tail, where would it get a new one?

    -> The answer is ‘At a retail store.’

  21. misskim(T) permalink
    March 29, 2013 2:48 pm

    Q&A

    Q:Which is the room that we cannot enter?
    A:Mushroom

    Q:Which is the table that we can eat?
    A:Vegetable

    Q:Which is the biggest city?
    A:Electricity

    Q:Which is a dress that you can’t wear?
    A:Address

  22. Lia (C2 T) permalink
    March 29, 2013 3:24 pm

    ▶Short Funny Slogans
    – People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing everyday.
    – etc. = End of Thinking Capacity

    ▶Funny short story.
    I translate a funny Korean story spoken on the radio.
    (The radio program is Cultwo Show)

    – Two friends went to theater. One friend went to public restroom half-way through the movie. One friend was back and whispered, ‘I took a 2 kilograms shit’ to the other friend. And then, a middle-aged men answered, ‘Well done.’
    (One friend mistook a middle-aged men for the other friend.)

    – Some person went to Baskin Robbins with mother. Some person said. ‘Mother is an alien, please.’ to cashier. And then, mother said, ‘Not for me, thanks.’

  23. Beginner (T) permalink
    March 29, 2013 3:29 pm

    Funny Stories 😀
    1.
    Patient : Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can’t remember anything!
    Doctor : So, since when did you have this problem?
    Patient : What problem?

    2.
    Customer : Waiter, this lobster’s only got one claw.
    Waiter : I expect he’s been in a fight, sir.
    Customer : Well, then, please bring me the winner!

    3.
    A man telephoned an airline office in New York and asked, “How long does it take to fly to Boston?”
    The clerk said, “Just a minute.”
    “Thank you,” the man said and hung up.

    4.
    The teacher said, “take a pencil and a paper, and write an essay with the title ‘If I were a Millionaire.'”
    Everyone the Philip, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write furiously.
    “What’s the matter?”, teacher asked. “Why don’t you begin?”
    He replied, “I’m waiting for my secretary.”

  24. perfect guy (CR2) permalink
    March 29, 2013 4:28 pm

    Q&A Jokes

    1. What cruel person would sit on a baby?
    – A babysitter

    2. Why shouldn’t you believe a person in bed?
    – Because he is lying

    3. Why do people feel stronger on Saturdays and Sundays?
    – Because all the other days are week days

    4. For what person do all man take off their hats?
    – The barber

    5.How many months have 28 days?

    -All of them

    HaHaHa…^^

  25. March 29, 2013 5:58 pm

    Legendary Joke: I want to fock ona table. One of my favorites. Hope you like it too.

    this story is one italian visited malta. he always miscomunicate with malta people at everywhere in malta.. because of prounsiation .

    • Chiodos(T) permalink
      March 30, 2013 7:12 am

      This is the best. I laughed so hard. What a great story. haha

      • March 31, 2013 4:47 am

        haha yes . iam always lmfao when i watch this vedio haha it is legend , there is no doubt

    • Christine(T) permalink
      March 31, 2013 11:40 pm

      Wow! I laugh a lot kkkkkkkk It cause a lot of laughing in my dormitory…hehe

  26. shuffle_C2 permalink
    March 29, 2013 6:59 pm

    1.
    Q : What do ears and candles have in common?
    A : They both have wax

    2.
    Q : What happened when the basketball player drank milk?
    A : He dribbled.

    First, ‘Wax’ have two diffrent meaning. One is a solid, slightly shiny substance which is used to make candles. Another is sticky yellow substance found in your ears.
    Second, ‘Dribble ‘ also have two meaning. We use this word when like this. Basketball players dribble the ball in a game. Also, we can use ‘dribble’ when liquid drops down slowly or flows

  27. Brad(C1) permalink
    March 29, 2013 7:11 pm

    ‘Laughter is the best medicine’ – I really agree with this expression. So I actually bought the book whose name is ‘Laughter really is the best medicine’. Then, I’m gonna show you funniest jokes in this book.

    A Junior manager, senior manager and their boss were on their way to a lunch meeting. In the cab they found a lamp. The boss rubbed it, and a genie appeared. “I’ll grant you one wish each,” the genie said.
    Grabbing the lamp from his boss, the eager senior manager shouted, “I want to be on a fast boat in the Bahamas with no worries.” And poof, he was gone.
    The junior manager couldn’t keep quiet. He shouted, “I want to be in Miami, with beautiful girls, food and cocktails.” And poof, he was gone.
    Finally, it was the boss’s turn. “I want those idiots back in the office after lunch.”

  28. Alice(T) permalink
    March 29, 2013 7:26 pm

    My favorite joke is simple and dirty humor. When I get a headache, I search this kind of stories and movies. Just laugh with no definite idea, then my head cleared up!

    Q : Why did the farmer bury all his money in his fields?
    A : He wanted rich soil!

    Q : What did the math book say to the history book?
    A : Boy, Do I have problems?

    Q : Why did King Kong climb to the top of the Empire State building?
    A : He was too big for the elevator.

    Q : What did the ghost say to the invisible man?
    A : Long time no see.

    Husband : Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
    Wife : Because I married the wrong man!

    A guy went to a party without his wife. He heard another guy say to his wife, “Pass the sugar, Honey.” and “Pass the honey, Sugar.” He thought this sort of speech is a good idea. The next morning when he and his wife are eating breakfast, he said to his wife, “Pass the bacon, Pig.”

    Customer : Waiter, this lobster’s only got one claw.
    Waiter : I expect he’s been in a fight, sir.
    Customer : Well, then, please bring me the winner!

    Daughter : Dad, can you write in the dark?
    Dad : I think so. What is it you want me to write?
    Daughter : Your name on this report card.

  29. Yeonny + C2 permalink
    March 29, 2013 8:05 pm

    Actually I don’t know any English jokes or interesting non-sense questions. And I did’t understand exactly their means because of a culture gap. Also I did’t have ever talked with foreigners long time so I have no chance to listen their humorz. Thus I found some stories by searching the internet.

    – A guy went to a party without his wife. He heard another guy say to his wife, “pass the sugar, Honey.” and “Pass the honey, Sugar” He thought this sort of speech is a good idea. The next morning when he and his wife are eating breakfast, he said to his wife, “Pass the bacon, Pig.”

    – Seventy-year-old Prescott explained his predicament to the doctor. “Recently I married a beautiful woman of 26,” he said, “but I fall fast asleep every night as soon as I hit the bed.” The doctor scribbled out a prescription and handed it to the patient. Prescott’s face lit up. “You mean I’ll be…” “No,” the doctor interrupted. “I can’t do anything about that. But at least she’ll fall asleep too.”

  30. Misty(C1) permalink
    March 29, 2013 8:12 pm

    – Anything to pass

    A student comes to a young professor’s office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.

    “I would do anything to pass this exam.” She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. “I mean…” she whispers, “…I would do…anything.”

    He returns her gaze. “Anything?”

    “Anything.”

    His voice softens. “Anything??”

    “Absolutely anything.”

    His voice turns to a whisper. “Would you…study?”

  31. Zzangzzangman permalink
    March 29, 2013 9:31 pm

    Upon dying, Bill Gates went to purgatory.

    St. Peter said to him, “Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go.”
    So, Bill takes a look at hell and sees beautiful women running around, in 80 degree temperature, on beautiful beaches.

    Then he took a look at heaven and it was nice, you know harps, singing and worship and stuff like that.

    So he said to St. Peter that he would like to go to hell.

    About a week later, St. Peter went down to hell to check on Bill. There he saw him being whipped by demons. He said to St. Peter, “What happened to all the beautiful women, and the beaches?”

    Peter replied, “That was just the screen saver.”

    • Zzangzzangman permalink
      March 29, 2013 9:36 pm

      Sorry, I forgot to comment my class. i belong to C1 class.

  32. Cookie (T) permalink
    March 29, 2013 9:51 pm

    I found these short jokes on the Internet. I enjoy simple and funny jokes as below. A great sense of humor makes me smile. 🙂

    1) A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said,

    “Oh, It really works.“

    2) What is difference between man and Superman?
    Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.

    3) no study = fail
    study = no fail
    no study + study = fail + no fail
    study(no+1) = fail(no+1)
    study = fail

    (What happened? This is ridiculous! But we should study hard because it’s just a joke….)

  33. Julie(C2) permalink
    March 29, 2013 10:47 pm

    This is a story about a successful strategist. If you want to make a big success in your business, then try this funny strategy:)

    Dad : I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
    Son : No!
    Dad : The girl is Bill Gates’s daughter.
    Son : Then okay.

    Dad goes to Bill Gates.
    Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
    Bill Gates : No!
    Dad : My son is the CEO of World Bank.
    Bill Gates : Then okay.

    Dad goes to the President of the World Bank.
    Dad : Appiont my son as CEO.
    President : No!
    Dad : My son is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
    President : Then okay.

    This is Business!:)

  34. Amy(C1) permalink
    March 29, 2013 10:48 pm

    1.
    Patient : Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can’t remember anything!
    Doctor : So, since when did you have this problem?
    Patient : What problem?

    2.
    Customer : Waiter, this lobster’s only got one claw.
    Waiter : I expect he’s been in a fight, sir.
    Customer : Well, then, please bring me the winner!

    3.
    A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classified ads; “Wife wanted.” The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing : “You can have mine.”

    -comment : I’m very interested in korean joke, I don’t know any english joke. I searched some funny story that were posted in the Internet. I usually think english language teacher are funny and they know a lot of funny jokes. I think conor you’re so funny! I like your joke!

  35. Betty(CR2-Todd) permalink
    March 29, 2013 11:26 pm

    Betty (CR2)

    1.One korean person went to Beskinlabins in US. Clerk asked him ” which one do you want?”
    The korean knew only korean Ice cream name. So he quikly translated it into English.
    “My mother is alien please.”
    ( To understand this story, you should know background of various unique names of Beskinlabins ice cream in Korea.)

    2. The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
    The CIA goes in.
    They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
    The FBI goes in.
    After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
    The LAPD goes in.
    They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: “Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!”

    (This story is form Googling…… ^^ )

    • James(T) permalink
      March 29, 2013 11:31 pm

      1.
      A horse walked into a bar and a barman asked, “Why you have long face?”
      : ‘have long face’ means ‘looks sad’ so it seems the barman makes a joke with horse’s long face and the expression.

      A man walked into a bar…….. BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      : A word ‘bar’ has various meaning. You might have thought second joke’s ‘bar’ is the same as the in the first joke above. However, this time the ‘bar’ means ‘obstacle.’

  36. Isabelle-C2 permalink
    March 30, 2013 12:17 am

    Yes, of course! Whenever I feel depressed, I watch the gag video. My favorite comedy program is “Gag concert” broadcasted by KBS. The funniest corner is named “Ggeok-gi-do”. It seeems like a korean traditional sport, Tae-kwon-do. The comedians act as they are training for important games. However, their talks are not serious at all. They don’t stop a sentence, “Gamsahapnida” which means thank you in Korean. They keep talking and talking such as “Gamsahapnida-ramji”. The last seven words, da-ramji, means a squerrel in Korean. At first, it seems it’s very childish but if you keep listening their talks, you can’t stop laughing. You can watch that video on Youtube :

    • Dreamcatcher C2 permalink
      March 30, 2013 12:42 am

      yeahhhh my favorite corner of Gag concert was Ggeok-gi-do, too. When I first watched it I honestly couldnt stop laughing so hard. Wow I remembered that it was about one year ago, already..

  37. Dreamcatcher C2 permalink
    March 30, 2013 12:39 am

    I luuuvvv funny jokes! They make me laugh and I feel my life is happy so easily.
    Heres two jokes about Baskin Robbins!!

    First one. A man who had never been to Baskin Robbins in his life went to Baskin Robbins for the first time. He did not know how to order ice-cream. Then he heard the next person ordering, “Can I get a ‘Berry Berry Strawberry’?” . A-Ha. The man now understood how we needs to order. So he went, ” Can I please get ‘Nilla nilla vanilla’?”

    Second one.
    Patrick went to Baskin Robbins, and said, ” Can I get this one, that one, and that one?”. The part-time worker got confused, and asked. “Sorry. can u please tell me the name.”
    So, Patrick said, “Oh, sorry. My name is Patrick. Can I please get this one, that one, and that one?”
    The part-time work got pissed. He went. “No, sir! Tell me the name for each!”
    Then, Patrick said, “ohhh, I’m so sorry. My name is Patrick, can I get this one, My name is Patrick, can I get that one, and My name is Patrick, can I get that one?”

    I hope you laughed. haha

  38. Adrian+C2 permalink
    March 30, 2013 1:35 am

    When I become depressed, I watch “Big-Bang Theory”. It’s an American sitcom and very popular. There are five characters in this sitcom. Roommates Leonard and Sheldon, a waitress Penny, who dreams of being Hollywood actress, and Leonard and Sheldon’s geeky friends, aerospace engineer Howard and astrophysicist Raj. These four guys are clever but socially awkward. And opposite, Penny has ingenuous beauty but outgoing character. This contrast makes viewers roll with laughter. It has been on air since September 24, 2007. It has also been my weekly routine for 6 years. I’d like to recommend you to watch this comic sticom!

  39. Kurtz C1 permalink
    March 30, 2013 2:36 am

    #Funny Story
    One man who live in Korea took the bus card near the bus stop.
    The man thought very lucky himself. The bus came and the man got on the bus.
    The man picked up the lucky bus card into the card machine proudly. However, Sounded from the machine, “Disabled”. The man was embarrassed.
    Because, most disabled people can be free fare for public transportation.
    However, He will have to pay a fare of 30 times when it was used illegally.
    So he walks like a leg disabilities and salivate like a mentally retarded children. Then he sat down! 🙂

  40. Chiodos(T) permalink
    March 30, 2013 7:48 am

    When smart man meets smart woman: Romance
    When smart man meets foolish woman: Scandal
    When foolish man meets foolish woman: Pregnant
    When foolish man meets smart woman: Shopping

    When smart employer meets smart employee: Profit
    When smart employer meets foolish employee: Produce
    When foolish employer meets smart employee: Promotion
    When foolish employer meets foolish employee: Night overtime

    This is from the book called wit common sense dictionary. The best book to find some humor. This humor needs no explanation. You might see clear what this wit means.

  41. bianca C2 permalink
    March 30, 2013 2:11 pm

    These two ladies were walking down the street when they came across this frog. The frog said, “Kiss me and I will turn into a handsome Texas oil man.”

    One lady reached down, grabbed the frog and put it in her purse. The other looked at her and said, “Aren’t you going to kiss that frog?” She replied, “Hell no! A talking frog is worth a lot more money than a Texas oil man……”

    • Betty(CR2-Todd) permalink
      April 1, 2013 11:40 am

      It’s funny. She is so clever~ she can see the future. ^^

  42. Avec des Fries permalink
    March 30, 2013 5:45 pm

    When I was young, I and my father used to go to a bakery. We liked looking around bread with various shapes and tastes. Often my father taught me why some kinds of bread had their special names.

    For example,
    When I saw interesting expressions such as “falling in love with strawberry”, I asked my father what the meaning was. He told me that “falling in love with strawberry” meant that bread contained very sweet strawberry jam.

    One day, we went into the bakery and I saw some bread with a label ‘Sample’.
    It was an imitation model of bread that was displayed to advertise new bread but I couldn’t find the name of the bread.

    Not as the same as before, when I asked my father the name of bread, he smiled naughtly and answered me “Aren’t you even able to read an English word? look at the label! It tells you the name is ‘Sample’!”

    • Avec des Fries permalink
      March 30, 2013 5:48 pm

      i forgot it, i am from C2 class. Avec des Fries, C2

  43. Kitty C1 permalink
    March 30, 2013 9:30 pm

    This is my funny story. when I was young, I had English class in my school. in that class, we talked in english with teacher who is native speaker. one day, the topic of the class was ‘dream’. we have time to talk what is my dream and what im going to do in the future. each student talked their dream. but i was so nervous to wait my turn. bucause i did not know the word ‘lawer’ at that time. so I asked what should I say that in english to my friend. she told me something and my turn came. teacher asked me what is my dream. I tried to remember the word my friend had said. and I finally answered. “I want to be a lier.” everybody laughed but I didn’n know why they laughed. my teacher asked me again if that is true or not but I confidently answered “I’m sure.” This is my embarrassing funny story.

  44. kelly +C1 permalink
    March 30, 2013 10:48 pm

    1. Q: Where is the country having many rowdy?

    A: Chile.

    2. Q: Among One hundred of windows, two windows are broken. What is this?

    A: Window 98.

    3. Q: How many people can ride on lifesaving boat?

    A: 9.

    4. Q: A child plays the piano keyboard ‘mi’. What do you call the child?

    A: A crazy child.

    • Betty(CR2-Todd) permalink
      April 1, 2013 11:45 am

      I don’t understand number3. Why 9 people can ride?

  45. Ronie(T) permalink
    March 31, 2013 4:43 pm

    I have read this story in a humor book.

    A scientist teacher is teaching students about the earth with a globe. As the teacher explains about the declined axis of the eath, a students is dozing off a class. The teacher find the student noding off and asks her a question.

    Teacher : Why is this globe declined?
    Student : I didn’t do that.

  46. Rachel permalink
    March 31, 2013 11:47 pm

    1. There is a pink pig in the farm. But she didn’t work every day, so farmer got upset.
    So he decided to throw away her. First day, He throw away her in the a ditch. But when he came home, Pink pig already came home. So next day, He sent her in the river. But She was also faster than farmer. The farmer was really mad. So He decided to go her to another country. When he came back home, what happened in the house?

    — The pink pig didn’t come back.

    ( an absurb story)

    2. One day, many news reported that Justine bieber will visit Korea. So Many fans waited him in the airport. The first airplne arrived at Korea. many fans really expected it. But the people who deplaned is the president of USA. Many fans were disappointed. so a half of people went to home. So only fifty people left. 1 hour later, second airplane arrived at the airport. many fans really liked it. But someone who deplaned isn’t him. They are Korea Girl group. Justin bieber’s fan were really angry. so 25 people left. And finally, last airplne arrived at the airport. Fans were really excitied.
    ask! Who deplaned at the bag?

    A : The Pink pig…….. D_D

  47. Micheal(T) permalink
    April 1, 2013 4:19 pm

    I also often use humor to relieve stress and make mood comfortable. I know a funny story between a mother and her daughter.
    A mother bought her daughter cell phone. The little girl was bored because no one contacted her.
    That time, she got a message. The message was written like “I`m free, please call me anytime”. She was happy to get a message and showed her mother it. Her mother was very startled.
    M: “Don`t call the friend”.
    D : “why? She allows me to call anytime.”
    M : “No, don`t call the friend and call the others”

    I am not sure whether you could understand rightly. But I believe almost can.

    • Micheal(T) permalink
      April 1, 2013 9:32 pm

      I get a funny story one more.

      My friend`s hour-and-a-half commute to work got old quickly- the time spent stuck in traffic was sending him over the edge. So I was happy for him when he found a new job closer to home.
      “Thay`s great,” I said. “What are you doing now?”
      “I`m a bus driver.”

  48. Purin permalink
    May 22, 2015 11:36 pm

    Mark twain said “The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.”
    As I think laghter is energizer to me, I try to laght frequently. I usually watching funny videos. That relieve my stress. I found some funny short stories,

    1. The child and his mother:

    A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”

    The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”

    The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”

    2. Wrong email address:

    A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.

    When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.

    Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.

    When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

    At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

    Dearest Wife,
    Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

    P.S. Sure is hot down here.

    3. Will’s experience at the airport:

    After his return from Rome, Will couldn’t find his luggage in the airport baggage area. He went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that his bags hadn’t shown up on the carousel.

    She smiled and told him not to worry because they were trained professionals and he was in good hands.

    Then she asked Will, “Has your plane arrived yet?”

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