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Help! I Need Advice

September 24, 2013

It is the start of week four and we are on our second blog post.

 

Almost all of us or our friend(s) have a problem of some kind, so I thought that for this post we might give each other a little advice on some of life’s problems. Together, maybe we can share or learn some useful advice.

 

Students: Imagine that a friend has a problem. Write down the problem in quotation marks at the top of your post. (Example: “My friend is having trouble with keeping up with all her homework. She says she has too much homework, so she has no time for other things.” or “My friend some times lies to me. Some lies are white lies, but some lies are more serious. What should I do?”) Then write some advice to the friend to help alleviate or solve the problem. Finally, read other students ideas and comment. You may have some useful advice for other students, or they may have some useful advice for you. 🙂

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31 Comments leave one →
  1. September 27, 2013 2:20 am

    “My friend is having some troubles with making a boy friend.She thinks she isn’t charming and attractive”

    Dear my friend, I think you do not have to worry about that.Because I think you are charming and attractive enough.And I don’t think we are happy only when we are in love.
    There are many interesting and wonderful things in our lives except the boyfriend .
    However, I won’t persist my opinion to you because you really want to make a boy friend,
    Then let me give you some advices.

    First, If you really want to make a boy friend, you have to try to look you nice to other people.
    For examples, you’d better exercise to keep your body in shape.And also try to change your fashion style or hair style.

    Second, I think this is more important than the first thing I told you.
    Try to make you good person. I mean make you a wide and warm hearted person.
    If you want to find a good person as your boyfriend , you have to be a good person first.

    Finally, I really want to emphasize this thing.
    Have confidence with your self. You are a beautiful young woman.
    If you want to be loved, love youself first.

    I don’t know whether my advices will help you.But I want you to remember that some wonderful things will happen to you soon. This kind of positive thinking will bring good luck to you and make you more charm.I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.

    • September 27, 2013 6:10 pm

      I think you are a nice friend for her. Maybe It can encourage her. I heard that the self-confidence is important thing to make love possible.

  2. Rachel permalink
    September 27, 2013 11:55 am

    -Professor, I revised my comment.

    “My friend broke up wih her boyfreind a few month ago because he lives far away from Suwon. But she still misses him. I want to comfort her. What should I say to her?”

    -> I will advice her to forget him as soon as possible because he lives far away from Suwon and the situation for each other is not good. (I skip the specific reason about the situation for her privacy) Also if she holds upto her memories with him, the one who suffer from pain is herself. And I want to tell her that she will meet someone who is better than her ex-boyfriend. In the past, when she had a hard time because of parting, she always met a man who is better than her ex-boyfriend at that time.

    Therefore, although it is so difficult to forget him, I think she needs to leave the past behind. And I wish she will meet a gorgeous man.

    • Owl permalink
      September 29, 2013 1:56 pm

      I’m sure that your advice is good to her definetely.
      At first, she is really hard to forget her ex-boyfriend.
      But in the course of time, she will realize that your advice is right.
      I wish your friend meet a better man.

  3. Owl permalink
    September 27, 2013 4:59 pm

    ” My friend has a problem with waking up early in the morning. So he can’t go to the class at 9 am. ”

    → I will advise to him two things. First, Making a habit that sleep early and get up early.
    He always sleep at midnight so he cant’ get up in the moring. He always gets up in the afternoon.
    I think his bad habit makes him not go to the class. So he should improve his bad habit.
    Next, He should not drink a lot of alchol the day before he has a class that starts at 9 am.
    He really likes meeting friends and having alchol together. He always drinks a lot with his friends. In my experience, having a lot of alchol makes me difficult to get up early in the morning. I think he is just same as me. Therefore ,if he has to drink, he has better to drink as he think proper. And if possible he should avoid drinking party.
    If he follow my advice, he could go to the class at 9 am. I wish he goes to the class so he will not get a F.

    • Daniel permalink
      September 29, 2013 2:22 pm

      I can understand your friends. And your advice is important and realistic. He maybe stop drinking when he has to wake up before 9 am. And also set up more alarms next his bed.

  4. September 27, 2013 6:00 pm

    “I major in the Department of English Language and Literature. Although I’m good at English, it isn’t funny for me. And I’m worried about my career path after graduation. I can’t be convinced of my major. I hope to change my major.”

    → Many students are confused about their majors that were already chosen. In this case, they have to think about two things. The first is what I want to study for a long time. The second is what I hope to be in the future. After that, they display two tendencies.
    First, they say “it is too hard to find out myself.” They must have more times to consider about that. If they make a hasty decision, there is just a repetitive regret. So they do not have to change their major.
    Next, they find out what they want. But they are worried about prospects of other major they want to change. Then I advise them to visit the Department office. The office has the analysis of the data about what they wonder.
    I explained the upper content to my friend. She determined to find the interesting things to her. Now She audits some classes of other department and agonizes over whether to take or not.

    • banana permalink
      September 27, 2013 10:17 pm

      Taking a class advance before changing her major is definitely a good idea.It will help her to make wise decision. Because many people regret changing their major when they did move to another department. They say it wasn’t what they thought and they lose their interest in studying. Hope she finally finds out what she want.

    • Owl permalink
      September 29, 2013 2:05 pm

      I have same idea with you. In the begining of the semester, I was also very confused about
      what can I do after graduating our major. So I think very carefully. As you said, I think what I want to do. But the desire to learning English is sufficient, I don’t think about what I want to study. After much consideration, now I am not confused on it. Clearly, your friend thinks your advice is really helpful to her. Your advice is very suitable.

  5. Angela permalink
    September 27, 2013 6:51 pm

    “My friend is always worrying too much about her future. It is natural to think about future, but she worries too much.”

    – Even though I am not older or wiser than her, I gave her some advices that I can give as a friend.
    First, Prepare for your own life. Only worry about future is no use. If you have some concerns, you should solve the problem. If you leave as it, the situation will not change.
    Second, You are a person who have enough potential and possibility. After you start something, you can achieve whatever you want.
    Third, Future is a constant source of worry to the twenties, so if you are preparing for your own life, stop worry about it and just go forward to succeed your dream.
    I am not really sure that this advices help you or not, but I am sure that I will always support and cheer you.

    • September 29, 2013 10:05 pm

      I think this will be a solution. Let your friends the results. If you worried about that, that thing can change notthing. In any situations worrying can not be a solution. Things that friend have to do is not worrying, preaparing. So I think let him know. This will be a good solution.

  6. banana permalink
    September 27, 2013 10:05 pm

    “My friend is uses her smartphone too much. She always check facebook three times a minute and send messages to her firend every second. Her addition to smartphone take away time for doing assignments or studying.”

    SOLUTION:

    I think she habitually check her phone, which is not a good thing at all. I once had that problem, but now i became a healthy smartphone user. In my case, i logged out my facebook account everytime. so if i wanted to check it i had to out my account and password again, which is really disturbing. Whenever i hit facebook apps unconsciously, i had to lig in again and i fianlly realized that i wasn’t curious enough to do that troublesome work. Or simply delete the app would be a help too.
    Thesedays there are too much meaningless messages sent through free messanger. and people are starting to overuse them. Why don’t you send a message instead? Off you kakaotalk and try to send a real message to your beloved ones.
    There is also an app that lock your phone during specific time you want. So if you have trouble concentraing on studyig, because of your phone, just use the app and save your time for your studying. It may sound bit extreme but this would probalbly effective way for you.
    Hope my similar experience and advice help my friend overcoming the situation.

    • evergreen permalink
      September 28, 2013 12:08 pm

      Your solution for your friend’s problem is really specific and practical. Using an app locking phone in specific time seems great idea to reduce using an smartphone. However, before conducting these things, I think friend needs to be aware of the seriousness first.

  7. tnpqnp permalink
    September 27, 2013 11:12 pm

    “One of my friends got a decent job thanks to an old friends from university. Now, however, he was not satisfied with the work due to immense amount of work and serious competition.”

    I heard that many employees who especially entered major companies talk about like you. Then, I am stil a undergraduate student unlike you, but I understand what you say. I can give you some advice. First, what makes you think that you will not in a trouble. Society has become more and more competitive and demanding that it is no longer possible for most people to just spend time to succeed in their field. You have to strive for the present as well as the future. Think about a lot of job seekers and students in their graduation year. You are already in the major corporation that everyone want to get into. Therefore, what you have to do is just make an effort in your position. second, having leisure times can become a viable alternative. These days, so many young people have their own spare time. They usually do swimmng, painting, taking pictures, online games and so on. In this way, young people get rid of strain and stress. If you choice a specific leisure activity, then you just try on and on. you can concentrate on your own time while having free time. And just forget about all the stressful things on your job. Clearly, what I told you above can help you in a good way, and I hope you feel better.

  8. Tai permalink
    September 27, 2013 11:47 pm

    “My friend is having a trouble with studying the Accounting Principles. She says, she want to do a double major in English literature and business administration, but the Accounting Principles is so difficult.”

    I think the reason why the Accounting Principles is difficult to you is that you are not good at mathematics. How about making a study group? You can find someone to help you. Also I think that many people that do a double major would have same problem. So, you have to do your best for being good at it. It will be hard, but do not fell small! I will support you.

    • Katherine permalink
      September 28, 2013 1:19 pm

      I think organizing a study group is good idea to improve one’s grade. I’m planning for double major too. So I hope that your friend gets over a difficulty.

  9. Zion H permalink
    September 27, 2013 11:57 pm

    My friend extremely worries about gaining weight. She want to be a slim woman.

    Now days Many women have problems with diet. Especially mostly women in their twenties are more sensitive to this. But my friend have difficult with diet. She has no inhibitions about food. From now on I will give her several way of helping diet.
    First. She has to try not to eat between meals. No snacking if she wants to lose weight. It’s important to eat a well-balances diet and avoid too much snacking between meals. Low-calorie foods she has to snack, eat those.
    Second She has not to eat too late in the evening. My friend who eat late at night consumes a majority of calories before she goes to sleep. It is main cause of obesity. She must not eat too late in the evening. Third, She have not to eat too much. Overeating is surely the main cause of obesity. Over eating is also easy to do when she doesn’t control her portions. I wanna say she has to try to lose her after school pig out habit by doing something different. Fourth Take vigorous exercise for several hours a week. Moderate exercise helps her lose weight. The key to a healthy diet is regular exercise. I have long believed that there’s nothing better than going on a diet and exercising at the same time to cast off extra pounds.
    I hope she will be a slim and healthy woman.

    • Gavin permalink
      September 29, 2013 1:09 am

      First of all, I’m so sorry to hear that she is extremely worrying about that problem. It’s true that it’s nice to be healthy and be in a nice shape. But it’s shame that she tries not to eat properly. Healthy diet and exercising are the best way to achieve her goal. I think she has to know the importance of balance between healthy diet and proper exercising.

  10. cs9999 permalink
    September 28, 2013 12:09 am

    “My friend is having a hard time with relationship problem. Recently, she had a fight with her best friend. It was really big fight, so they are not even talking or meeting each other. But now she wants to get back to old time.”

    This is a problem that many people can be faced with. But, it is always hard to overcome. I also had a similar problem, so I want to tell you some advice.
    First, you should approach to her on ahead. I know it will be very akward to talk to her but this is the best way to solve the problem. As you two were best friend for many years, if you show her that you are trying, she’ll appreciate you.
    Next, have a meaningful conversation and do your best to listen to her. When I heard your story, I thought all this fighting situation is because you didn’t pay attention to each other. If you try to think about it once again in her position, it wouldn’t have developed into fight. Now I can see how much you are regretting, listen to one another will be very effective. Then, admit your fault to her. If you do that, I am pretty sure she will do the same thing.
    I know it is just typical advice and it won’t help you much, but I hope you two to set back good relationship. I’ll always be on your side and tell me anytime you have any other problem.

    • September 28, 2013 1:44 am

      It’s really hard to go back to good relationship after the fight. I agree with you that the fight is the result of not paying attention to each other so listening to her can help a lot.

  11. September 28, 2013 1:39 am

    “My friend wants to get high grade in this semester, she also wants to change her major and find her dreams. In addition, she often feels difficult to take English classes.”

    Dear my best friend, the person who are going through the most hard time is you but it’s also hard for me too. Having less time to sleep and less free time is the result of the passed times. We can regret things and change our minds, but we can’t change situations that happened. You will just have to be more diligent and I’m really happy and proud to see you studying hard.
    What I really want to tell you is that you have do stick to your statues-studying English hard-and nothing else. You don’t have to worry too much about what kind of jobs you are going to have. You can join job-searching circle which me and my friend is planing to make. Lastly, you got to have more confident about yourself and always be focused on professor’s words. Your English is pretty good enough to understand everything. You just have to train yourself so that you can study and concentrate longer. In addition, record during the class. It will help you a lot to notice and understand the class better. Cheer up! I know you can do this:)

  12. Katherine permalink
    September 28, 2013 12:17 pm

    “My friend is having trouble with studying the college scholastic ability test. She and I were same class in the high school. But she couldn’t enter the university that she wanted. So she decided studying one more year to enter the university. However, recently she is worrying about test and nervous about many thought such as ‘Compared to other person, Am I too late?’ . I want to encourage her choice. What should I do? ”

    -I want to advise to her something.
    First, I want to encourage her that you are so brave. Because putting time into the college scholastic ability test is so hard and uneasy. Nevertheless, she decided studying for her dream. I think it is very courageous decision.
    Second, I want to say to her that you have to take a long-term view. Although your start is later than other people, you are not late about your dream.
    I can’t be confident that my advices help her. But I want to support her sincerely. The college scholastic ability test is one month away. I believe that she does her best.

    • tnpqnp permalink
      September 28, 2013 3:58 pm

      I’d like to say a few words for your friend. There are many friends around me that entered lately university. And they did not regret their dicision. Personally, I recommend your friend to concentrate her choice and believe what she choose.

  13. evergreen permalink
    September 28, 2013 5:05 pm

    “My friend thinks that she is not pretty at all, and some people don’t like her because of her appearance”.
    ->
    Dear my friend.
    First of all, I want to recommend strongly having a self-respect of your appearance. You have an own appearance which anyone can be like. Each person has a own characteristic of looks, and among lots of characteristics, you have an own beauty.
    Even the standard of beauty in a society, so called fashion does exist, you don’t have to follow it with pressuring on yourself. The reason is that fashion is temporary. When the time goes by, the trend will be change again.
    In addition, I’d like to say that there’s no relation between appearance and relationship. In my opinion, relationship has come from each one’s attitude and respect, not one’s appearance.
    Besides, you don’t have to bother yourself with others’ words. I mean it is not that good idea to follow criteria of other people. Fitting in your appearance to other people’s opinion at all, there is nothing remain of your own criterion and beauty.
    Instead of paying attention to worries, I think you should accept and respect yourself before following others’ opinions. Remember that you are beautiful and precious in yourself.

    • Gavin permalink
      September 29, 2013 1:00 am

      What really matters is inner beauty, not fancy clothes, pretty face, and sexy body. I also really want to encourage her to build self-esteem. If you don’t love yourself, then who will? People have their own beauty, so don’t put too much energy thinking about yout looks. There are people who think you are beatuiful and who take care of you. Look on the bright sides.

  14. Gavin permalink
    September 29, 2013 12:49 am

    “One of my friends recently broke up with her boyfriend. It was her choice but she’s not sure of it.”

    -> The following text is almost the same as what I advised to her.

    I want you to think carefully whether you truly loves him or not. Just because you miss someone, it doesn’t mean they belong in your life. Maybe you are just missing his kind and adorable behaviors he’d done to you. Also, don’t rush to make another boyfriend. I don’t mean that you shouldn’t move on. I’m just telling you that it’s playing with someone’s feeling if you are not over with your past. And I know you are not that kind of bad person, so don’t be. What I think is not yours, so just take it as an advice. And make sure you are the one makes your own decision. Just know that I’m on your side no matter what happens. I’m not going to be a judgemental person, so just follow your mind. That’s my advice.

  15. Daniel permalink
    September 29, 2013 2:17 pm

    “One of my friends drinks too much. Sometimes she gets drunken and yells at somebody we don’t know. My friends and I are so tired from her.”

    Dear, my friend it is too tiring to hold you when you get drunken. I’m going to give you some adives about this problem. First, I think you should know that your drinking makes other peolple be tired and upset. When you blacked out, you sometimes yell and swell somebody we don’t know. We are so embarrased with that. And also it it important to know how much alcohol you can drink. Recognizing your drinking keep you from being out of your mind. You have to control yourself for your friends and your body. When you keep these advices, we can drink in more pleasant atmosphere.

    • Rachel permalink
      September 29, 2013 6:30 pm

      I think you are so tired. Umm… How about this? Why don’t you shoot a scene when she yells at somebody? And show her that video. I’m sure that she will be ashamed and she will decide to drink in moderation.

  16. September 29, 2013 9:57 pm

    “One of my friends plays online game too much. I want to change him.

    Dear, my friend Sometimes you concentrates too much. So you miss your assignment and last subway that youe have to ride for going home. This is not desirable life. So I want to give som advice to you.
    First of all, you have to get you own benefit hobby like football, reading a book, like other things. You just waste your time in PC room. It is really pathetic. This will be a energetic part.
    Second, I think you have enough time to work part time job. You have no experience about doing part time job. If you had this valuable experience, you could know the precious time and money. This time will make you saving man.
    Finally, I read several books thesedays. We must know and have dream. Person that has a dream is not wasting his time. And the person is going to chase his dreams with doing many efforts.
    I ‘m confirming, if you do this three points, you will have special and awesome life. Why don’t you try these things?

    • haruharu7070 permalink
      October 3, 2013 10:59 am

      You might be very worried about your friend is likely to be addicted onine games. I also understand your worrying, because my brother would played too much the online games. However as you know, too much playing game is bad for one’s study as well as healthy life. Therefore I hope your friend to understand your concerns.

  17. haruharu7070 permalink
    October 3, 2013 10:49 am

    “One of my friends is having trouble with relating her mom”.

    My friend says her mom always said her to just study hard, so she told me to complain about it. But as for me, I always miss my family even my mom’s nagging for me. In high school, also I think it was very tired of hearing my mom’s nagging. However, now when I’m studying in University, I feel really lonely without my family. nd I’m sure that your mom intended to make you to a better future. So far, I used to feel my mom have been devoted to me. for example, she complied with my request that anything related to inconvenience. However now as long as I am the university student, I have to get on myself all things related to my life. Thus, first I was a little bit difficult to handle these by myself. You might be similar from my situation. That is why you should understand your mom’s mind. However, if you are stressed-out of your mom’s nagging, ask her to stop this. And you must keep in mind that ask her politely and convey her to understand your situation. Then, Thanks for my reading. Have a good day~

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