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A Little Friendly Advice

September 16, 2014

Life often presents us with difficulties and challenges to overcome. Therefore, for this post I thought we might talk about problems and give each other advice. Together, maybe we can share or learn something useful.

Task: Imagine that a friend has a problem. Write down the problem in quotation marks at the top of your post. (Example: “My friend is having trouble with keeping up with all her homework. She says she has too much homework, so she has no time for other things.” or “My friend some times lies to me. Some lies are white lies, but some lies are more serious. What should I do?”) Then write some advice to the friend to help alleviate or solve the problem. Finally, read other students ideas and comment. You may have some useful advice for other students, or they may have some useful advice for you. 🙂

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52 Comments leave one →
  1. vannesa permalink
    September 18, 2014 10:20 am

    This is my real reply

    “My friend,who is my roommate, snores a lot. Even though She tried to not to snore, it doesn’t work. What should I do?.”

    : it is not goot for your roommate’s helth to snore a lot. So talk to her and make her to get some application to avoid snoring

    • proftodd permalink*
      September 18, 2014 11:26 am

      One easy snoring remedy is duct tape. Simply apply it across the snorer’s mouth. Of course, you may also have to use the duct tape on the snorers hands and body as well to prevent them from removing the tape during the night. Try duct tape on your roommate and enjoy and restful night’s sleep. (Note: I’m kidding.)

    • September 18, 2014 3:42 pm

      Your roommate’s snoring can disturb not only your sleep but also his/her sleep. because your roommate cannot sleep well during snoring and It’s called apnoea. (temporary inability to breath)
      so, I think it’s better to suggest surgery gently…

      • proftodd permalink*
        September 19, 2014 6:06 am

        All surgery – from minor to major – inherently has risks, including death. Perhaps one would have to understand the severity of the snoring before suggesting surgery.

    • AliceC permalink
      September 18, 2014 11:23 pm

      Once I heard that sometimes snoring happens because of the position of the person’s head. Maybe using a lower pillow might help her not to snore 🙂

    • sang permalink
      September 19, 2014 11:38 am

      My roommate snoring too. Sound like a tank. In my case, i kick my roommate. than He is quieten. But your case, have not the heart to kick then wear earplugs.

    • hailey permalink
      September 19, 2014 11:42 pm

      I understand your friend well because i had a similar expeirence with your friend. But snoring is kind of unconscious habit. So friend’s roommate is also feel sorry for that but cant do anything. i want to recommend surgery too……

    • Galaxy permalink
      September 19, 2014 11:54 pm

      I sometimes woke up my roommate and made her lay another position that is good for snoring.

  2. Aiden permalink
    September 18, 2014 3:52 pm

    Here’s my little problem. I work at English academy for part time job.
    And there’s my student who is just reaching adolescence. It’s really hard to care him. For example he always use bad words when he speaks, and also sometimes raised his voice to me. Frankly speaking I don’t need to care about him because I’m not responsible for him
    But I experienced serious adolescence either and I’m really regret about it.
    I want to advice him truly. and I’m worried If I hurt him. What can I do for him?

    • vannesa permalink
      September 19, 2014 2:51 pm

      It is good to give some advice to him. Student in that age don’t like to listen others opinion. But tge sure thing is someone has to take care of his attitude. Because he doesn’t realize exactly why that is a bad attitude. So talk to him little bit strong but not to hurt his heart. It could be very hard to say it, but try it!

    • Steve permalink
      September 19, 2014 10:27 pm

      Anyone experience adolescence. But the most important thing for overcoming that time is displaying understanding. If you close strongly with him, he will get a antipathy with you. So I think you should talk to him with light topic, such as his interesting. If he gets a intimacy with you, he will follow your advice well.

    • Jjang permalink
      September 19, 2014 11:14 pm

      It is too usual thing to experience adolescence, everyone does. So I think the best solution is understanding. Understanding his atitude is important but do not be too generous to him.
      Make him sure by telling what is wrong about his acting , give him advice kindly until he realizes.

  3. AliceC permalink
    September 18, 2014 11:14 pm

    “One of my friends has two family diseases. They’re high blood pressure and diabetes. She’s so worried about it’ll also happen to her.”

    I think she should do some simple things first. One is that she has to try to eat low-sodium foods. I heard that most of the Koreans are eating salts more than it should be, and eating a lot of salty food is one reason of high blood pressure. That’s why she has to eat bland foods. Second, she has to eat less sugar. She likes ‘cafe mocha’ or ‘churros.’ By eating those kinds of sweet food, the possibility of getting diabetes will grow. So she’d better to eat not only a low-sodium food but also a low-sugar food. At last, she needs to be less stressed. She got so much pressure from her study, parents, or her future. Those lead to stress and, like everybody knows, stress is an enemy of healthiness. Moreover, it’s not happening yet. For that reason, I guess all she needs to do is just relaxed and eat healthy foods.

    • Min Woo permalink
      September 19, 2014 12:00 am

      I think that what she really needs is to relax and have some composure. As you said, stress is bad for our health and seriously affects our body in negative ways. So the most important thing for her now is to relax and try to think everything positively.

    • proftodd permalink*
      September 19, 2014 6:14 am

      Good advice, Alice C. I think most of us would benefit by eating less sodium and sugar, particularly those with a family history of high blood pressure and diabetes. I’ve reduced my sugar intake by drinking mostly water instead of soda and juice and I’ve reduced my sodium intake by minimizing the amount of broth I drink when I eat soup, noodles, chigaes, etc.

    • Hotam permalink
      September 19, 2014 2:38 pm

      I agree with your opinion, but most important thing is suitable exercise which helps her have a healthy body like jogging. In other words, she will be more sound woman, if she decreases sugar and natrium in food adequately, thinks about everything more positively and exercises more than now.

    • Galaxy permalink
      September 19, 2014 11:20 pm

      I can understand her problem. Before starting this semester, I also worried about my disease. I always thought about that all day and I made myself weaker than when I was healthy. I want to tell your friend that stopping to think about diseases is most important. It can be stressful. Think about happy memories and exercise much more than now. Then she can have a positive thinking.

  4. Min Woo permalink
    September 18, 2014 11:54 pm

    “My best friend is going through hard time after he broke up with his girlfriend and he doesn’t know to do anymore..”

    I think he really needs to get over his sadness because that sadness might harm him and lead to more unfortunate consequences. There are three ways to overcome his sadness effectively. First, do not make him alone. If he is alone, he will think and regret about breaking up over and over again. Instead, it will be good for him to meet friends and spend a lot of time with them so that he cannot think about his ex-girlfriend anymore. Second, he need to have his own time for his self-improvement. For example, he can work part time job or study for his future career. That way, he can forget about the breaking up. Third, look for other girls. There are lots of girls in the world so do not be gloomy and have some pride on yourself. To sum up, he must overcome the sadness for his own good before it become much bigger problem.

    • Jennifer permalink
      September 19, 2014 1:05 am

      I agree with your second opinion. Having his own time for his self-improvement is really helpful. And I think that working part time job is the best way to overcome his sadness. He earns the money and improves himself. It is killing two birds with one stone!

    • rolrol permalink
      September 19, 2014 10:27 pm

      I think your role is very important to him. He can overcome his sadness if you stand beside him. And you can introduce new girl freind^^. Also you can recommend what he does. Above these I want you to put your ideas in practice for your friend.

    • jack permalink
      September 23, 2014 9:17 am

      Your friend seems to need more time to overcome that situation. Also, he needs someone who is being with him and is talking with him. If you practice things that you wrote, your friend can easily overcome it!

  5. Jennifer permalink
    September 19, 2014 12:58 am

    It is my real problem.
    “My friend, who is entered university at the same time, felt lonely because of we don’t have the time to meet and play lately. Also, we do our own part time job and the day of doing part time job is not same. For this reason, my friend really missed me and so do I, What can I do for her?”

    : I think it is hard to play with my friend on weekdays. Therefore, we play on holiday or eat launch together. These times might be just short time, but it makes our relationship better.

    • Galaxy permalink
      September 19, 2014 11:47 pm

      I think calling with her is great idea for yours. When I feel lonely, I always called with my friends and family. It gives me feeling more comfortable. When you can’t meet her, using this way is great way to play with her.

  6. jiwon permalink
    September 19, 2014 11:02 am

    “My friend didn’t adapt to her university because of stress from shallow relationships and her inappropriate major. She constantly said it was quite uninteresting to go to school. As a result, she decided to be absent from school for six months or a year. Now she is just spending her time freely.”

    I think she should be careful of wasting her time. I respect her worries and decision, but if she just spends time meaninglessly, it is exact that she will gain nothing from being absent from school. I don’t want her to meet that situation, so I’m gonna tell her several steps to solve her problems. First, she should list all things that have distressed her. In order to solve troubles, she has to arrange what are really problems. Second, after arranging her problems, she should divide those in 2~3 fields such as relationship or major. This step can show her an exact figure of her stress. Lastly, she should think about effective solutions on 2~3 fields of worries. In this step, she can seek advice from her parents, teachers, or friends(it would be happy if one of them is me). I think she can also do things that she has wanted to do such as traveling. By following these steps, she will be able to concretely arrange her problems and find real solutions. I hope she spends her time with definite plans and really gains something.

    • hyun permalink
      September 19, 2014 2:14 pm

      You’re right she should be careful of wasting her time. But i think she isn’t ready to enjoy school yet so if she has specific plans, absenting for short time can help her to organize her thoughts and think about her future.

      • Hotam permalink
        September 19, 2014 2:55 pm

        I have a same opinion with you, because when a person doesn’t like something, he should do another things which can satisfy his mind. Without that process, he will be melancholy. Thus more great experience can be a solution to her.

    • jack permalink
      September 23, 2014 9:26 am

      I think the last step is really important to her. It is a big fortune that whenever any problem occurs, someone is always with you. She should try to go to meet her close people and talk about her problem. Then they will listen carefully and sympathize with your situation.

  7. sang permalink
    September 19, 2014 11:24 am

    I have a little problem.
    That’s problem for my friend and roommate in one.
    He is a my close friend and have a good character.
    But my friend have a little obsessivecompulsive neurosis.
    Things must do something in his own way.
    If That unobserved than he is edgy.
    He have many kinds standards to many kinds things so I feel tired.
    I hope in some degree flexibility to communalism.
    I talked to my friend like this.
    But problem is get no better because life habit is an inveterate habit.

  8. kk7799 permalink
    September 19, 2014 11:53 am

    “My friend really into some strange religion.
    He believe that his religion is real, but he miss real important things
    like future family and study.”

    It is problem because he decide everything depend on strange religion.
    If religion say to him “You quit school and enter church”, he will do so.
    Before i said to him some advice, but my attempt resulted badly.
    I think that there is no one to support him in surrounding of his life.
    Though our friends to try and help him but he have insatiable something.
    This is the first time in my life have had this worry.
    I really don’t know what is. what can i do for him?

  9. hyun permalink
    September 19, 2014 2:04 pm

    “My friend has a health problem for a long time. 3 years ago she went to America for studying but she came back soon because of her health. She was so sad and decided to wait next opportunity. And this year she passed test and registered university in Netherlands.
    She planned to go school on this month but she is sick again so she delayed to go Netherlands again. The reason why I feel much more sad is that I know she really want to study in abroad and there is no exact reason why she feel sick. How can i help her? Please give me some advices.”

    I think the biggest reason she feel sick is stress. Actually she is sensitive to everything. Sometimes it can be a good advantage. But that sensitivity presses her to care everything and it makes her sick. And another reason is that she has tried so many remedies. I think it makes her worse. It can’t be an exact solution but if she doesn’t care many things and doesn’t try many remedies she will be better.

    • JYS permalink
      September 19, 2014 3:36 pm

      I agree with your opinions, as you said that the stress is the reason why she was sick. The stress is the cause of all kinds of illnesss, so I think you can advice her to be relax, and I think she maybe get stress from fear, so you could encouraged her that she could pull this fear off.

    • Sam permalink
      September 20, 2014 12:20 pm

      Several years ago, I had also hard time because of stress, in my 3 grade of high school.
      I was also sick and had stomachache. Only way to cure me is just rest without thinking.
      So I sympathize with your friend and you. I hope your friend better soon.

  10. Hotam permalink
    September 19, 2014 2:10 pm

    “In my case, one of my friend have a problem with not so good at english speaking. He usually says he feels inferior to a man who has the superb ability which is similar to competence in english of native person. Therefore I’d like to cheer him to make him have a confidence at english. What is necessary wisdom to him?”

    First of all, I make him know that he can’t be same with native speaker of english. He worries about ability of enlish too much to know a simple fact that a person who lives in another culture that doesn’t use english as a mother tongue is poor at english. Because he didn’t think about that truth, he had no choice but to consider that he has to have the faculty native speaker of english has. So, he need to learn that firstly. Next, if he knows that truth, he should be a confident person at english. Without confidence, he can’t do anything, for he will be afraid of everything. Lastly I’d like to inform him that if he is trying to learn english to be more fluent speaker steadily, he will be a great english speaker. In the end, he doesn’t need to think that enlish speaking is very hard thing, but only one thing he has to understand is that he will be able to be a good english speaker.

    • Hotam permalink
      September 19, 2014 3:00 pm

      I’m sorry that there are mistakes in my homework.

      “enlish” >> “english”(in 7th line)
      “enlish” >> “english”(in 3rd line from end of line)

  11. Galaxy permalink
    September 19, 2014 3:21 pm

    “One of my friends has a boyfriend. But he likes to do a club activity with his friends. My friend doesn’t like it. She wants that he is concentrated on her more than now. She sometimes gives up about that. Because it is very difficult and hard problem to her. What the important thing is boyfriend can’t give up about his club activity. He said her that the activity is like a vitamin to him and she asks me about this problem. What should she do? Should she break up to him?”

    The most important difference between her and him is he likes the activity associated with his club. She said me that sometimes she can’t contact with him because of activity. I think if she can’t understand for him, it is the best way to break up with him. But she doesn’t want to break up, then I’ll advise that you have to talk with him seriously and find a way to overcome their’s problem. The worst way is to split up with him. Thus you use this way that is just side part of many ways to solve this problem. And I recommend talking with their’s lover, that is more important between a couple.

  12. jack permalink
    September 19, 2014 3:26 pm

    “My girldfriend got worried about her future in these days. She has sought to find out what she really wants to be for a long time, but she could not figure out what it is. She says she has no idea what she should do, and she does not know whether the way she goes through is right or not.”

    I think she should know that this kind of worries is really dangerous because it can easily cause other troubles and make her so depressed. So she has to remember these three advices whenever she get depressed. First of one, she should not too much worried about her future. The reason why she felt she has trouble with her future is that she always compares herself with others. But she needs to know every people has their own problems and worries even though they hugely succeed. So the KEY point is not to bring out the contrast between herself and others but to just enjoy her present. Second, she needs to be falling for reading classics intensively. By reading classics, she can find out lots of truth which let you go the right way. Also, if she keeps reading them, she might have known what is the most important thing for her life and future. Finally, she has to talk with herself deeply. All the answers about her questions is in her mind. If she get in trouble, she should close her eyes and talk your own friend. Then, she can discover what she has never known before. Therefore, she always try to think positively and cheer herself in order to find what she wants!

    • jack permalink
      September 19, 2014 3:30 pm

      Sorry the last sentence should be “she always has to try to~~~”

  13. JYS permalink
    September 19, 2014 4:08 pm

    “In my case, one of my friends has a boyfriend,and she really gets on with her boyfriend. Before she has a boyfriend, we are very friendly with each other. and always goes with her. But, after she has a boyfriend, she changed her attitude, and only call me when she can’t meet her boyfriend, and also when I meet her, she almost tell about her boyfriend. So I always felt slighted because her attitudes. What should I do??” Please gives me some good advices. Thank you!

  14. orzhov permalink
    September 19, 2014 8:25 pm

    “One of my friends at the same period in the university has a problem about his roommate. His roommate doesn’t have any manners for basis. Even though he is on good terms with his roommate, his roommate often do somthing which my friend can’t understand. for instance, to bring another friend to his room and play when he sleep on the bed.
    But his roommate majors in The physical education. So he is too strong to attack for my friend. what should he do?”

    Poor my friend, It is a kind of war to struggle with roommate to get a domination of the room they live in. He should get a self-confidence by making his body strong at the health club. Then he can claim his right to his roommate. I think that the confidence is important in this case. how do you think about this?

    • jack permalink
      September 23, 2014 9:35 am

      What a pity… The problem is that the roommate’s bad manner. I think you should tell him not to bring any friends to your room without your acceptance. If he did not fix his bad behaviors, then your friend has to report him. The most important thing in the world is only MYSELF. So go to the dormitory office and fix it up.

  15. Steve permalink
    September 19, 2014 10:15 pm

    “My friend has a difficulty to choose the club. Already he has one; soccer club. But he has a interest in music, so he wants to have another club which plays the band activity. He doesn’t have enough time so he should choose one of the two.”

    He has a interest both of them. The reason why he worries about choice is the activity so far. He has a great influence in club, so everyone want him to be leader. But I think he has more interest in Band rather than soccer. Thus, I will give a advice to select the former. Above all things, one’s interest is most important in choice. What do you think about my solution?

  16. rolrol permalink
    September 19, 2014 10:20 pm

    “One of my friends have a problem with military service. He is pressured by this matter. He doesn’t want to go there, but common men are going there at his age. Because of this matter, he is worried when will he go there.”

    Don’t be worried about it. No matter when you go there It is okay because there is no answer. Even though many men are going there at our age, if you don’t want to go there you don’t need to do it. All people are different and they have a their life way. The same goes for you. If your way is not headed for there but headed for other ways, you can choose other ways diffrently with other people. It is more important for you that live your life with your ways.

  17. Jjang permalink
    September 19, 2014 11:08 pm

    ” One of my friends has a problem with his parents. The problem is because of his job. His parents want him to be a teacher. But he wants to do special thing that others don’t do. He is interested in cars. So he wants to go abroad and study about them deeply at university. What should he do ? Please give him some advice “

    • abc permalink
      September 21, 2014 1:48 am

      I think it is better for him to do what he wants to do. Just following his parents’ requirement can make regrets later.Giving a try for his own dream will be a great experience to him!

  18. hailey permalink
    September 19, 2014 11:36 pm

    “one of my friends has a problem with her boy friend. she already took apart with her boy friend for one year because of her study abroad. Thankfully her boy friend waited her. Until now they’ve loved each other. But she want to experience internship program which is in france. So if she get internship they should take apart for 6months more and her boyfriend would be so angry.

    my advice is that your boy friend is not your husband. If you miss your chance to get your career you would regret so much. Recently finding a gob is so difficult problem for students especially who are majoring in languages. Your priority is not a man but your future. Also if your boy friend is true love you would not break. Tust your boy friend. If not break with him…..

  19. sh1004 permalink
    September 19, 2014 11:59 pm

    “My best friend is sad and feel very lonely because his boyfriend entered the military.”

    I think she have to get used to be alone because continuous depression have an effect on her health and mental badly. So I’ll write down about the ways overcoming depression. First, listen to upbeat music. An upbeat music can change atmosphere instantly and make positive thinking. If she listen an upbeat music, she can become happy and improve her mood. Second, stop the negative talk. Depressed people tend to see in a negative way. It will make even more depressed. For example, when I was high school student, I was very negative person so I always had depressed time. But, at some points, I thought it was very bad to my mental health. After that, as I avoided negative thinking, my depression became better than ever before. So, she should keep away negative thinking. Third, meet your friends. Friends will help your depression by talking and they can make her mood happy and supportive. Finally is exercise. Exercising for just a few minutes will influence her physical and mental health. So she should start exercise right now. So, if she follow this ways, she will overcome her loneliness.

  20. ronnie permalink
    September 20, 2014 11:41 am

    “My best friend is sad because her best friend can’t contact with my friend because she is very busy.”
    I think you should get off obsess of your friend. You can do everything without friends, so don’t feel sad about this problem. When you start everything alone, you will experience different situation and overcome your problem. Maybe your friend has sad feeling about can’t contact with friends, so you have to understand friend’s mind. In addition, another solution is make friends more, then you can’t feel lonely. So don’t be serious about this problem.

  21. Sam permalink
    September 20, 2014 12:48 pm

    “My friend calls me whenever she had problem with her boyfriend mostly because of contact problem like kakao talk, phone call. ”

    I think ‘contact problem’ is chronic problem in couples because of difference between girls and boys. So it is hard to resolve easily. In this problem, if her boyfriend really love her, she should not just wait his contact. Just focous on herself ,she had better do hobby, studying and so on. But I know it is so hard. Actually I broke up with my boyfriend because of this probelm before. So I also don’t know what I should do.

    • jack permalink
      September 23, 2014 9:45 am

      If one couple has a hard time resolving a contact problem, both of them should meet face to face and talk about the situation very intensively. Talking is the best way to fix couple’s problem up. So if your friend really want to keep a good relationship, make use of the conversation.

  22. abc permalink
    September 21, 2014 1:32 am

    “My friend has a secret crush on someone, but the problem is, the man she has a crush on seems to have no interests on her. For this reason, she is worrying about whether she has to confess.”
    :This is also hard situation for me to decide what to do, but I consider that confession is not that good way to show her love, because the man is not interested in her. The most important thing for her at this moment is to be closer to him. Suggesting him to eat dinner together, I think, is one of the good ways to become more intimate with him.

  23. anonymous102 permalink
    September 21, 2014 2:18 am

    “My friend wants to leave this place and go to an imaginary world. Do you think this is serious? Because she actually is normal in real life.”

    Well, I think she wants to go somewhere like Hogwarts that only exists in a novel. She may be showing these symptoms because she is overly stressed by the world that she is living in right now. You as a friend should help her get over her stress and help her figure out the real problems that is bugging her.

  24. nabi07 permalink
    September 22, 2014 6:17 pm

    My friend is having trouble with boys. She has boyfriend but she is dating at the same time with other boy. She doesn’t have clear is she wants to be with her boyfriend or if she wants to start a new relationship with the other boy. She is confused.
    I told her that normally when you meet new people, you has more interest because everything is new. She should to tell to other boy about her relationship and be honest with herself about her feelings.

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