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Advise Me, Please!

December 1, 2015

This will be the last blog post for this semester.

Life often presents us with difficulties and challenges to overcome. Therefore, for this post I thought we might talk about problems and give each other advice. Together, we can share and perhaps learn something useful.

Task: Imagine that a friend has a problem. Write down the problem in quotation marks at the top of your post. Then write some advice to the friend to help alleviate or solve the problem. Finally, read other students ideas and comment. You may have some useful advice for other students, or they may have some useful advice for you. 🙂

Example: “My friend is having trouble staying awake in class, especially English. She constantly nods off. In fact, her notebook is usually covered in drool by the end of class. What should she do?”

First of all, does she suffer from….zzzzzzzzz…from narcolepsy? (Sorry, I suddenly fell asleep for a minute.) If not, it sounds like she might be a bit sleep-deprived. Many students are busy with homework, a part-time job, commuting back and forth, and so on. Ask her if she sleeps enough at night or if she has good sleep habits. Typically, people need seven to eight hours of undisturbed sleep; some people may need more. And it is best if she sticks to a regular sleep schedule, even on weekends. If she is on social media too much before bedtime or if her room is not dark enough, she may have difficulty sleeping well. Also, why don’t you encourage her to take a nap after lunch (but not in English class, of course) because the benefits of napping are clear: more energy and alertness, better memory and creativity, lower anxiety and blood pressure, etc. Finally, give her a plastic bag from the convenience store. She can put the handles on her ears and the bag over her mouth during class. Then when she falls asleep, the bag will prevent her drool from damaging the pages of her book. With this great advice, you are sure to be a good friend.

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121 Comments leave one →
  1. Hani permalink
    December 1, 2015 9:15 pm

    “My friend is having trouble to keep a good relationship with her parents. She thought that her parents hate her lifestyle and her attitude. She got a big stress with this problem. What should she do?”

    I can give a helpful advice for this friend, because I have almost same experience with this situation. The most important thing is that she should have positive mind and try to communication with her parents. All of the human relationships are difficult to keep. It needs a positive attitude such as trying to understand each others or communicate together frequently. This process will help to develop the relationship more smoothly.
    Also, If she felt that her parents have dissatisfaction about her lifestyle, maybe it is useful to try changing her lifestyle such as come back home more early time, or help her parents’ housework. I also changed my attitude recently, and my parents were very glad to show my changes.
    Certainly, your parents love you forever. They did not hate you. Do not put yourself down. If you try to understand them, they will start to understand you.

    • peanut permalink
      December 1, 2015 10:25 pm

      Soory but I couldn’t give your friend any advise because I have the same problem as his. By the way, your adivise was helpful for me, too.

    • mjk permalink
      December 2, 2015 4:48 pm

      My friend also had that problem too. so I suggest that “try to talk a lot.” Actually nowadays, a lot of family don’t talk enough with each other. Of course, at first it is very difficult and hard but they have to try and practice it. My friend also tried and tried, then they have a very good relationship between them. There is no easy way from the beginning. Try it:)

    • proftodd permalink*
      December 2, 2015 5:14 pm

      I’m curious if the parents really hate her life style or if she just perceives that they do. A lot of communication problems start with faulty assumptions. Anyways, I agree with you that she should try to communicate better with her parents. One tip is to communicate more often, even if it is just about trivial or mundane topics. Frequency of communication is important. Time and place are also important. Trying to communicate with someone when they are busy or stressed is a poor strategy (in a comfortable and relaxed environment, if possible, is better). Finally, telling his/her parent about her feelings might be awkward, but it also might help the parents to understand the daughter’s situation more deeply. She could say, for example, “Hi mom and dad. I have something to talk with you about. I’m a bit nervous (or embarrassed) to say this, and I think you might be a little upset, but I really want to tell you this. Could you listen for a moment?”

    • asdf permalink
      December 2, 2015 5:35 pm

      Do you know what the 효도 is in English word? It’s “filial piety”. I had never heard this unfamiliar word even before few days ago. It is said that this word is nearly not used because there is no concept of “효” in western countries. Although the Confucian concept of 효도 brings many benefits to Asian families, I think it also can cause some serious problems. And these problems are actually pressing Asian, especially Korean young people.
      Based on me and my friend’s experience, I think many early 20’s are having stress to deal with the parent’s unreasonable directions. We the youngs think that we have right to make decision about our lifestyle by ourselves because we are not teenagers anymore, but grown-ups. However, parents, it seems that they cannot simply accept this fact. They do not think that we are now smart adults. I can heartfully understand them because once they had changed our diapers, and wiped our running noses. They have watched all the stupid things we’ve done while we are growing up.
      However, I think it is the time to show them we are mature and clever enough to decide our lifestyle. There is no rule or duty about obeying to parents. Although it is almost always better to comply their advise, but sometimes parents give us wrong answer or directions.
      If your friend feels, thinks, and assures that his/her parent’s opinions are wrong, it will be worth to try to defy them. If I were you, I would rather tell your friends to resist. I’d like to say “Just do what you want and change them, not let them change you.” At first this attitude will cause a lot of noises and hardships. I think this process is inevitable to make them accept your friend as an adult. Conversation and communication with parents will definitely help this process. I anticipate that his/her parents will admit that your friend have been changed from teens to adults in the end because they must be love your friend.
      Yes, after all, all mothers and fathers love us. (Let’s just exclude some extreme cases) We are having second puberty period, however this time, we are grown-ups and have power to convince them we are right.

    • Silvia permalink
      December 2, 2015 7:34 pm

      I totally support your advices because those are what I did last year when I was in bad relationship with my parents. Last year, because I became 20 years old, I used to come back home late and violate my curfew time so that my parents was disappointed and I had many conflicts with my parents. But, after trying to communicate and compromise with my parents, the relationship got better. And now I am maintaining good relationship.

    • yeye permalink
      December 4, 2015 12:04 am

      In my case, I think your friend have to understand her parents. I also same experience your friend, but whenever I tried to understand my parents. Because they love me and their speaking worried about is for me. If you want to fight your parents or become to be hate your parents, close your eyes and think a moment. Then if your anger is reduces, try to communicate with your parents. I have always used this way.

      • pugn permalink
        December 4, 2015 5:54 pm

        I had trouble with my parents when I was freshman. Mostly, I argued with them about coming back home late at night. At first, I raised my voice and got angry that they don’t understand my situation. But I realized that it is not good for realtionship with my parents. So I communicated a lot and tried to convince them softly. Maybe your friend’s parents are worried of her lifestyle and attitude because they love her. I think she might get through this problem by having gentle comunication with her parents.

    • Todgo permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:35 pm

      To solve the problem, I think conversation needs to be started at first.

    • 얄루 permalink
      December 6, 2015 12:32 pm

      I also think communication is the most important thing because without talking there is nothing can be solved. I have good relationship my parents and it’s because of communication. My family talk a lot about everything happened in the day. For example, what happened at the school, what i ate for lunch, who i met. So we know each other well and become understand other’s behaviour or thinking well.

  2. mjk permalink
    December 2, 2015 5:11 pm

    “My friend is having trouble to find her dream. She have a lot of things that she want to do. However, she have several limits because she gave up graduation of her university. so she thinks that she is already late to prepare her future and enter other university, and so on. What should she do?”

    I can understand her problems well. Because nowadays I felt these feelings. First, I recalled my situation when I met my friend for advice. Actually just counseling to speak only is not helpful because someone who have problems couldn’t listen to other’s talk. It is very difficult to follow and realize all story that consultant said. so I try to concentrate on her thinking and listen to her problems that she worried. And I tell my problems to her. Also I said ‘how do I overcome these problems that is similar with yours. Then she could open her mind and listen to my talking. So we can talk about her real problems frankly. As she were ashamed of her university, she quit it. 2years later, thus now, she wanted to enter other good university but she thought that she is already late. But there is no ‘Late’. So I tell her the story that I read from my favorite book “아프니까 청춘이다“. Writer compared with our life and a clock. If we are 20, we are just ‘the time when we wake up and prepare to go to school ”at 7”. That means we are very young and not late. As I tell this to my friend, she could realize something and decide to prepare new university.

    • proftodd permalink*
      December 2, 2015 5:50 pm

      After speaking with your friend, was the real problem the fact that she hadn’t entered a respectable university? Did she make a decision after talking with you? Also, I wonder if your friend is a bit indecisive? Indecisiveness seems common amongst young people, these days, perhaps because they have so much choice (including too many dreams to follow). Too much choice creates a paradox: Instead of liberating, it can paralyze. Anyways, I may be assuming too much since I do not have much information to go on, but I notice this phenomenon in a lot of students. I hope you were able to help your friend make a wise decision.

    • VibeFriday permalink
      December 2, 2015 7:23 pm

      I understand decisions are hard to make because of the fact that one decision leads to a chain of effects, meaning one bad decision can lead to many problems although at this time and age every decision is critical but hey, were still very young and we have much room to improve. We have to keep making mistakes in order to learn and better ourselves now is the time to learn! If she keeps talking about it with friends and family and getting ideas out there she’ll eventually come up with and answer and decision for herself.

      P.s. your seem to be a very good friend don’t burden yourself too much :]

    • VibeFriday permalink
      December 2, 2015 7:25 pm

      I understand decisions are hard to make because of the fact that one decision leads to a chain of effects meaning one bad decision can lead to problems although at this time and age every decision is critical but hey were still very young and we have much room to improve. We have to keep making mistakes in order to learn and better ourselves now is the time to learn! If she keeps talking about it with friends and family and getting ideas out there she’ll eventually come up with and answer and decision herself.

    • Silvia permalink
      December 2, 2015 7:37 pm

      I was surprised to see similar situation with my real friend. I want to deliever your helpful advice to her! The writer’s comparison our life with a clock is quite impressive.

    • lazyenough permalink
      December 2, 2015 10:35 pm

      can feel the empathy of u to your friend.. In my opinion, if ur friend has some specific skills or talent, she need not go to university. But if not, also living in Korea in the future, she must go to the university because thats the reality.

    • Lily permalink
      December 4, 2015 1:15 am

      You did a great job to encourage your friend. But I’m worried about her satisfaction after entering the university she wanted to go. You said she had so many dreams, but her reason for the university was to get the fame it has. I hope she enjoys her major, which will signifantly affect her overall satisfaction throughout the school life.

    • pugn permalink
      December 4, 2015 6:02 pm

      You are a good friend:) She might be encouraged from you. I also think that we are still young and have great possibility to do anything. I hope that she remember this word. “We are still young!”

    • Todgo permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:37 pm

      I think it’s fine that she has many dreams because in reality, there are many people who don’t have a specific dream. However, now she needs to choose few things and experiences with those dreams to feel whether it’s suitable dream for herselves.

  3. asdf permalink
    December 2, 2015 5:57 pm

    Yes. we are young, really young! Apart from the recent criticism about that famous book, a good saying is a good saying. I hope your friend make her/his dream true sooner or later!

    • asdf permalink
      December 2, 2015 10:52 pm

      Oh, this was a reply to the mjk’s… Why can’t I find a correction button?

  4. Silvia permalink
    December 2, 2015 8:35 pm

    “My friend has a trouble in deeply falling asleep-insomnia, so she feels tired everyday and usually nods off in classes. After waking up, she feels under the weather. What should she do?”

    I have to say three advices about this problem. First, she should stay away from smartphone 3 hours before going to bed. A few months ago, I watched a news program and heard that there is a recent study that strong light from screen of smartphones lets our brain assume that it is daytime so that hinders deep sleeping for 100 minutes. It causes more serious sleeping problem than drinking coffee at night. Thus, controlling of using smartphone at night can determine quality of sleeping.
    Secondly, she can listen to sound of nature such as sound of flawing valley, waves, rain, and wind etc. Whenever I have trouble in falling asleep, I used to use this method to solve it. The sounds makes me relax, so I can easily get to sleep. There is many smartphone applications that records sound of nature. Also, it is comfortable to use it because it has function of timer so that users can set time as they want. It means that there is no need to wake up in the middle of sleeping to turn the sound off.
    Plus, taking a short shower with warm water and drinking hot milk also make you calm before going to sleep. Those 3 advices I recommend are really simple but effective to overcome insomnia! I want other people who suffer from insomnia to practice those advices and live everyday energetically!

    • asdf permalink
      December 2, 2015 11:11 pm

      Actually, I also have some sleeping problems these days. I think they will be definitely helpful advice. I’m going to practice them right tonight. You are a good adviser!

    • lazyenough permalink
      December 3, 2015 12:09 am

      Also, she could counsel with the expertise for the sleep ..

    • Comet permalink
      December 3, 2015 11:31 pm

      Oh, I also use my smartphone before going to bed. That’s why I recently cannot sleep well… Anyways, I have some remedies, when I suffer from insomnia. Lie down with a supine position and keep on taking a deep breath until I’m accustomed to this. I heard somewhere that one repeated act can make people asleep, such as counting sheep. However, taking a deep breath also help to relax, so it serves two ends.

    • yeye permalink
      December 4, 2015 12:15 am

      Um… I have to stay away my smart phone as I go to bed before. When I cannot sleep well, I usually imagine fictitious thinking. For example, I imagine that I fall in love with handsome guy, or I become to Korean the most popular singer…..Like this imagination which makes me satisfy, I can go to sleep very quickly. I want to convey a messages to your friends, ‘How about imagining some enjoyable things on your bed?’

    • Lily permalink
      December 4, 2015 1:20 am

      I wonder your friend also have difficulty with her sleep at night, due to her sleep at noons. If she try not to take a nap and make her body exhausted with doing some exercises, I think it will also help her to have a deep sleep at night.

    • Gloria permalink
      December 4, 2015 5:33 pm

      How about doing light exercise before going to bed? In my case, when my body is tired, I fall asleep easily and deeply.

    • gounn permalink
      December 4, 2015 10:42 pm

      I think the best solution is his/her body who suffers from insomnia makes him/her exhausted. In other words, if he/she exercises hard, it makes him/her fall asleep soundly.

    • Todgo permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:39 pm

      I had a ex-girlfriend who has a insomnia and it was very serious. She got better with calm music and overcoming stressful situations

  5. lazyenough permalink
    December 3, 2015 12:07 am

    “My friend is having trouble with understanding others. She has her own strict, stubborn opnions to all the things surrounding her, even to the people. The real problem is she often misunderstands the other’s intention. She understands others in her way. I tried to alleviate some excessive stubborn perspective to others but it is not an easy task. What should I do? ”

    If I have a chance to say sth to her, first, I will try to talk to her using roundabout statement. I tend to talk to people with roundabout method, not straight talking style. She might be not noticed by others about her one way perspective. So first I will try to just mentioning around the topic and see what is her opinion for the other. If this does not work, secondly, I will tell her directly for the stubborn perspective to others. I do not know this might work effectively. but I will make her understand about the varieties of perspectives in the world. Life is living with others. Life is not just living alone. In my perspective understanding others and finding the best point where everybody is neutrally agree are very important for these days. So I use these steps when I tell her about the biased perspectives.

    • RIP permalink
      December 3, 2015 9:16 pm

      I just wonder. Does she feel that it is problem of her? Or just do you think it is problem of her? In former case, i think she just make habit to check if what she understand is right or not, by asking. However, in later case, you had better tell her about her problem.

    • Lily permalink
      December 4, 2015 1:24 am

      My sister has the exact personality wth your friend. She thinks her opinion is the best logical thing in the world. I also had a long, hard time struggling to help her think about other perspectives. But unfortunately, I couldn’t succeed the mission yet. 😦

    • Todgo permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:40 pm

      I recommend you explain the value of diversity to her. After I believe in the diversity, I ‘ve got a tendency to respect everyone’s perspective.

    • Comet permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:45 pm

      I think she do not have to agree with other people. However, it is manners that she should acquire. Although everyone in this world cannot reach a consensus, but everyone is at feud with each other. It is because we try not to offend other’s mind. So, she do not need to change not her perspective, but her way to express her thought.

  6. Comet permalink
    December 3, 2015 12:18 am

    “My friend recently broke up with his girlfriend. Although he is facing TOEFL in this month, he seldom concentrates on the test due to the breakup. He keeps on lamenting the futility of his life. What should he do?”
    Well, although I want to tell him that time heals all wounds, the important test is just around the corner. Is it possible to pause just for a month and to resume feeling sad? Anyways, I also have similar experiences. When I was a freshman, my girlfriend dumped me just before the final exams. I really panicked and could not do anything so that I just gave up my final exams, and then I got F in some classes. Now, I really, really regret the abandonment, and am busy retaking the classes. Of course, right after the breakup, though some people cannot think rationally, they should notice that there is a very important moment which they must not miss. Because my friend has tried to get high scores in TOEFL to go abroad for language studies – and also the cost of TOEFL is very expensive – , the test in this time is crucial to him. So, he would rather weigh the importance of a matter than be plaintive. Well, how about thinking that conversely, it is fortunate to break up with her, because it turns out she is a gold-digger? Thereby, he feel relief can more focus on his significant matters. This is a kind of self-justification and a stopgap, but somewhat helpful to his mentality.

    • RIP permalink
      December 3, 2015 9:09 pm

      It can be big shock i think. But I agree your advice. Perhaps it can sount cinical, breaking up is past thing. And for your friends, important thing is future. Besides, breaking up wasn’t his fault. So there are no reason to delay or give up his own task.

    • yeye permalink
      December 4, 2015 12:24 am

      If it happens to my friends, It will be very sorry for this. I have a similar experience, but fortunately, that time was not examination term. Surely, your friend must take extremely stress and pain. I agree on your advice, so I think your help will be good for him.

    • Lily permalink
      December 4, 2015 1:28 am

      I’m sorry to hear your friend’s bad news and I want to tell him to think about his better wife he can marry in the future when he does good job on the test. Tell him that if he loses his control now, he’ll also lose his perfect, future wife.

    • pugn permalink
      December 4, 2015 6:43 pm

      Your friend must be going through a hard time. I think your advice is realistic and helpful. I had similar experience with your friend recently(fortunately it happened after exam). For some weeks I couldn’t concentrate on anything, just being sad every moment. But my friends adviced me that try not to think about that and keep yourself busy. So I tried to study harder and have fun with my friends. I think your friend should think his future more than his ex-girlfriend. It’s hard to hold one’s mind after breaking up with girlfriend or boyfriend, but things he has to do for his life are really important. I hope your friend gets better soon!

      • pugn permalink
        December 4, 2015 6:47 pm

        adviced-> advised

    • gounn permalink
      December 4, 2015 10:23 pm

      I understand his feeling. We carry on if we face any painful situation. In your case, we give up everything, we are only damaged. Trying to recover as soon as possible is the best solution.

    • Todgo permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:42 pm

      I understand his situation ,however, we’re an adult. Please explain to him that “makes no regret in your life”. If he doesn’t concentrate on the study, he will regret. That’s the important thing ,so I want to say “see the life as a long way”

  7. RIP permalink
    December 3, 2015 10:02 pm

    “Today, my friend ask about CPA(certified public accountant) certificate. It seemed that she is having trouble with her career, especially with her future job. I know that she is not interested in accounting. But the reason she think about CPA certificate is that it is regarded useful tool for getting job. In short, now she is hesitating between her interest(she never like accounting) and stability. What should she do?”

    Because getting job is more and more difficult, many people consider about stability of jobs, as she does. It is also another evidence of this situation that many people attempt civil service examination now days. However, the most important thing people consider when they get a job is “happiness.” It dosen’t only mean to pursuit their own interest. What I want to say is firstly to set their own definition of work and, then to make a list of standard which deserve to consider, such as money, interest, ability and so one. After these two steps, people set order of their standard of work, depending on their own value. For example those who regard money as most crucial factor of work is willing to bear uninterested work for high salary. Thus she also can set her own standards which is considered when she chose her job.

    • mike619 permalink
      December 3, 2015 11:55 pm

      Sadly, I also want to get stable job such as government service person. In these days, earn certain money for 20~30 years is really hard job. People can lose their jobs without any purposes. So, stability is really a important feature for me to choose a job…

    • Lily permalink
      December 4, 2015 1:31 am

      I strongly agree with your opinion. It’s easy for the people to forget about their preferences of jobs, because of the seriousness of unemployment thesedays. I hope we all feel satisfied with our jobs in the future.

    • gounn permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:23 pm

      I studied CPA exam for about 1 year. It is very difficult to exam. Most people who prepare this exam takes at least 2~3 years to pass the CPA exam. In addition, output is so low despite of tremendous effort. CPA is also not stable. If she wants to stable job, I recommend her preparing a public official.

      • gounn permalink
        December 4, 2015 11:26 pm

        very difficult to exam –> the very difficult exam

    • Todgo permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:44 pm

      I think the purpose of job should not be the money because I have seen many people who are not happy with those jobs. Thus, I recommend her to find other job that meets her money expectation and happiness.

  8. mike619 permalink
    December 3, 2015 11:53 pm

    My friend always concern about his girlfriend. She is stubborn and lazy. She always late when dating with my friend. And When my friend asked why she late, she said it is none of your business. What the …. When I heard that story, I got really mad. I said to my friend to broke up with her. She doen’t like you anymore. But sadly, my friend really really like her. He always want to do everything for her…. I think that love has strange power. It makes people to put down his or her everythings such as self-esteem, money…. for their lover. Next month is new year of 2016. I want to find my lover as soon as possible…

    • Lily permalink
      December 4, 2015 1:35 am

      Your comment really makes me laugh. But absolutely, there will be a moment when your friend’s girlfriend realizes the preciousness of your friend. Although it possibly could be after their break-up, your friend will meet a better person. I hope you too find your true lover and spend your next christmas with her. Good Luck!

  9. yeye permalink
    December 4, 2015 12:49 am

    “My friend is having trouble saving money. Although she does even two part time job, there are little money in her bankbook. Because she spend a great deal of money when she get money from the part time job. She purchase lots of clothes, always eat expensive food and even take a taxi even though very short distance. So she ask for her mother to give money. What should she do?”
    I will give her some advice ‘write a housekeeping book’. If she keep this every day, she would consider of her consumption. And I think it is good advice to her that making installment savings. Because installment savings cannot withdraw money, only deposit it. So she can save money and reduce excessive consumption. Although my advice is also important, my friend’s will is more important. She have to know the ways which can control her desire.

    • Lily permalink
      December 4, 2015 1:37 am

      Your comment has some similar things with mine. I think your friend always try to find her pleasure from buying things she wants. So it will also be a good way to find another alternative which can give her a big pleasure.

    • ye jin permalink
      December 4, 2015 5:00 pm

      i have consunption problem too, like your friend. i know that saving money is important and always lack money about last part of month. i had heard your advise, when i was very young. but i fogot. It is good to plan my winter vacation trip. thank u 🙂

    • Comet permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:35 pm

      Yes, her will is most important. And I think, in that she are doing TWO part time jobs, there is not any reason why her mother gives her allowances. If she really feels the pinch, she can change her spending habit.

    • Todgo permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:45 pm

      I also recommend her to write household. I have a friend who use household and he is very strict to use his money. So, it will be helpful to manage the use of money

    • 얄루 permalink
      December 6, 2015 12:48 pm

      The friend you are talking about is almost like me.. I’m always short for money even i do part time job and get money from my parents. So my friend scolds me all the time because of my spending habits. From my experience the bad way spending money is using by any kinds of card. It makes me spend a lot of money because i can not check with my own eyes how much i have so i spend money more easily. And never carry much money with you. If you have enough money all the time, in my case, i use all of money in my purse by buying useless things..

  10. Lily permalink
    December 4, 2015 1:03 am

    “One of my friends is concerned with whether she’ll quit her part-time job or not. She’s doing two part-time jobs now: teaching students english and making drinks in cafeteria. Although she enjoys both of them, she now wants some rest because she started doing part-time jobs since entering the university. But she’s not sure because she thinks she’ll regret if she quit one of them.”

    I think my friend should get some rest now and she can just re-start the part-time job after that. Though she has an affection with her jobs, she’s now missing a point: taking care of her health. Getting pleasures and money by doing jobs is important, but having rest and staying fit is more important than the former one. Also, if she quits one of her jobs and spend the time with her friends and family, she’ll get another type of pleasure. I can’t just wait and see her just focusing on her works, not considering her relationships. Clearly, she needs to completely enjoy her 20s with doing things that she chould only try now.

    • asdf permalink
      December 4, 2015 12:52 pm

      You sincerely take care of your friend! I envy your friend to have a friend like you 🙂 I especially like this quote “She’ll get another type of pleasure.” Definitely, your thoughtful advise will help your friend,

    • 5sman permalink
      December 5, 2015 1:25 am

      I feel you are so kind friend. As your expectation, if your friend quit part time job, she can catch many pleasures. However, I think there must be a reason, why your friend spend entire time in university by part time job. So I can’t say easily you should quit the part time job.

  11. 5sman permalink
    December 4, 2015 11:40 am

    “Last month, my friend confessed his deep anxiety to me, being drunk. Around 4:00 am, he said that he feel a certain anxiety about the future. He feared uncertain, vague future and didn’t know what he should do now for a better future. Since those questions appeared and distressed his mind all the time, he became lethargic. What should he do?”
    The problem which my friend suffered is common phenomenon that most college students, especially freshman, experience. Most of freshmen feel anxiety about vague future, however they mind to face this problem. Most college students just study except enough contemplation about their path. On the other hand, my friend didn’t do like that. He didn’t want to spend his time without specific goal. I can understand his mind. I advised him to think why his future seems to be ambiguous. I think there are two reasons for this. First, my friend didn’t have specific goal. When person tries to perform tasks unrelated to his goal, he starts doubting himself. The specific goal is different meaning from vague dream. If my friend wants to clarify his future, he needs to specific aim, and course for it. Secondly, when you imagine the future, inevitably there are uncertainties you can’t expect. Until it is just around the corner, nobody can anticipate precisely. This is the main cause of his anxiety. But he should try to accept this factor. If the problems he didn’t expect appear in front of my friend, he may be embarrassed but overcome this. In contrast, we can’t rid completely uncertainties of future in advance. If you start to concern about this excessively, you have no choice but to just worry about it. I said to my friend, so I hope you don’t worry too much your uncertain future. The only thing you have to do is starting to set a specific goal and follow that leisurely. Time I spend to advice my friends is instructive experience not also my friend, but to me, because it was chance to arrange my thinking.

    • asdf permalink
      December 4, 2015 12:45 pm

      Surely, your advice could be a great help for him. Also, I think, getting experience in various fields and activities will help him to set his goal of life.

    • Comet permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:26 pm

      Well, I also agree that to set a specific goal is needed and important, but I think that how to set a goal is also significant. Most students tend to decide their future rashly, or just follow what other do. They should take a time to contemplate what they really want is. For this, trying to encounter many, many things, searching from books to internet, or taking a short trip is helpful.

    • Todgo permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:47 pm

      I have experineced with those things too and now I’ve got certain things to do. If it’s really hard to find ,but if he find, he will know what he has to do for the specific dream he wants. Thus, just tell him that it’s just trial and error to find his happiness

    • gounn permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:52 pm

      Most university students may have anxiety about uncertainty of future. I also have too. It discourages us from living. One of the solutions is doing our best right now before our eyes. We don’t have to see far away.

  12. peanut permalink
    December 4, 2015 2:30 pm

    “One of my friends has a trouble in getting up in the early morning. Because he is busy preparing for somewhat important test, he does not simply assignment and homework but studies another subject for the test. So, he has no choice but to go to bed late. Consequently, he can not usually attend morning class, and this vicious circle is repeated.”

    I can understand him very well, because I like morning napping too.(Not just because he is I) I think it is impossible to go bed late and get up early since most human need enough sleep to move. So, I’d like to say to him he would rather concentrate on preparing for test in the weekend. In the weekend, even though he get up early, he don’t need to attend the class. That is, on the weekdays, he should spend time on doing assignment for the class, and, at the weekend, he can concentrate on only studying for the test. I know this type of method is a little hard to follow, because it is hard to sleep or get up whenever he wants to. However, once he adapts this type of time schedule, he can get good results on both in the college and the test.

    • jellyman permalink
      December 4, 2015 10:06 pm

      Oh…Sadly, that friend have same problem with me…I also worry about getting up late in morning. I have some classes which start at 9:00 a.m., so I have to wake up before 8:00 a.m. However I usually fail to it. Althogh I try to ger up early in the morning, it’s not so easy. I can only recommend that sleep earlier than now is most effective method for this problem…:(

    • stanley permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:24 pm

      I think that one of the proper solutions of this problem is using time or daily planner.

    • Sunn permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:41 pm

      oh the circumstanve is simmilar mo me. after all the school’s work, or part time job. i was sooooo tired i have to wait some sleep. maybe long sleep.. after sleeping some hours i start some assignment and study. but doing at night can’t wokr for nexday. because i sometimes fell asleep so deeply thath i can’t sometimes hear moring call…oh it is so annoying me..really really.

    • asdf permalink
      December 6, 2015 9:05 pm

      Yes, your friend, who sleeps and wake up early, can be you or me or everyone 🙂
      Just show him your essay that you wrote in our CRW class.
      . “The negative effects of insufficient sleep”

  13. ye jin permalink
    December 4, 2015 4:47 pm

    My friend has a trouble with her boyfriend. She belive in Christianity. But her boyfriend does not understand it. When she go to church in weekend, he whine to her, wanting to date with him. At first, she think that he act charming. But now, they always fight because of religion, even he say that ‘i will save u in bad thing.’ Although she cry, whenever she fight with him, she do not break. She still cannot give him up, because he is perfect to her, except this problem. What should she do?

    I am really angry when i heard it. (it is real my friends problem.) i’d like to say breaking is the best solution to this couple. Every people in the world are diffierent each other and have free tot religion. they have to respect. Also Woman, man too, have right to recieve love. Love is respect between person who loved. i can understand emotion that love someone. it is difficult to stop suddenly. However. if she overcome it, she can meet another good guy, i think. Even i said to her, She emphasize that he is gentleman except this problem.
    She need various advise. What do u think?

    • jellyman permalink
      December 4, 2015 9:37 pm

      The value of religion is relative. Ignoring other’s personal value is one of the most horrible behavior. There’s many reason why people get divoreced, but I think main reason of that is different values. Thus I think your friend must find another good guy who will understand your friend’s personal value.

    • Comet permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:16 pm

      Did she require her boyfriend to go to church together? Spending time in there with him can be a good solution. However, if he refused that, how about going to church every other week? Thus, on one weekend, she meets her boyfriend, and then on another week, she can go to church. If both cannot agree with my opinion, then, one must make a concession..I think..

    • 5sman permalink
      December 5, 2015 12:09 am

      As you mentioned, couple should respect each other. And religion is most sensitive point. If there are irreconcilable differences of thinking about religion, it is not a case which can be solved by conversation. I think, like your opinion, lt is time that she should consider relation. Their conflict isn’t problem which need to more time.

    • asdf permalink
      December 6, 2015 9:13 pm

      Umm… Adolf Hitler was also a perfect guy EXCEPT that he made Nazi and ordered to kill people. What I mean is that, if there is an exception, it is not perfect. Isn’t it? I cannot interfere with your friend’s problem, but I heard that there are tons of 훈남 in the church.

  14. asdfgg permalink
    December 4, 2015 5:05 pm

    “My friend has had worry about her appearance. Looking at mirror, she always tells me she wants to have a plastic surgery. Also, she is told from others that if she change only eyes, she will be more beautiful. Does the plastic surgery necessary to her?”

    I don’t think a plastic surgery is harmful. Of course, it’ll bad if someone does it excessively. However, if the plastic surgery is done for one’s confidence, I really agree with it. Appearance is important and can’t be ignored when people meet first. Thus if someone becomes more handsome and beautiful, he or her will satisfy his or her face and can get more confidence. It can also raise her self-esteem. For this reason, I recommend her to do plastic surgery. What is important is she has to satisfy at only one time. If she does it again and again, she might become like a monster. Even more important is she must change face with her own criterion. Others’ opinions are not that significant. I hope she change her appearance and be more happy.

    • jellyman permalink
      December 4, 2015 10:00 pm

      I agree with you. I also think cosmetic sergery isn’s bad or harmful thing. However the excessive desire to become beautiful is problem. It can cause cosmetic sergery addicion. Therefore people who want to change their appearance must think carefully about its reason and result.

    • stanley permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:20 pm

      I also agree with your advice. Plastic surgery is a good way to fulfil one’s desire if he or she has it appropriately. But, I recommend her to do some excercise regularly. It is a really proper and helpful way to recover hers confidence.

    • 5sman permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:44 pm

      Yeah, I think so. I haerd many examples about cosmetic surgery addiction. I think one time is fine, like your opinion, but the most important thing is to be satisfied with her appearance.

    • Comet permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:53 pm

      Well..I do not agree with you guys..But, If she wants to get a plastic surgery, she must do with her own money, not her parent’s money. Now that it is just her own decision, she should not lean on her family, I think.

    • asdf permalink
      December 6, 2015 9:23 pm

      We have the rights to reject the appearance what we were forced to have. Of course, non-surgical method such as changing makeup and hairstyle, buying clothes will be much better. Also it is very common to get eye surgery (쌍커풀) so I think there will be no problem.
      P.S. Media is too focusing on the drawbacks and failures of the plastic surgery. In the real world. there are much more people who satisfy with the result of surgery and become happy thanks to that.

  15. Sally permalink
    December 4, 2015 5:51 pm

    ” I think my self-esteem is very low and I am not confident at things. For example, I think my problem of not having a boy friend is because I have not attractive points as woman”

    Dear My Friend
    First of all, I strongly think you are a amazing person. I think the feelings that a person has are relative. You are doing things harder than other people but you think that’s not enough. For this, I suppose you’d better lower your satisfaction degree which the level you think ‘that’s enough’. Then you will be more comfortable when doing something. And the problem of man! You sometimes think you have no attractive sides as a woman! But in my opinion, you’d better believe yourself and think you are a great person. There are countless huge amount of people in the world. So you don’t have to assume you are not enough charming because we haven’t met a variety of people yet. Maybe you might have foreign boyfriend in the future.
    Lastly, I am very glad to meet you in this big world. All my advises are about being positive at every events, but I think that help you surely.

    • Comet permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:08 pm

      Remember, Every Jack…No, Every Jill has her Jack. I think whether males feel attractive from your friend depends on individuals. So, try to meet those who feel so. Or, self-confidence can be another attractive point. These days, alpha girls can be females who males want to meet.

    • 5sman permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:17 pm

      When I was a young boy, I suffered from similar problem to your friend. I thought ontinuously if I was born with better feature than now, I would be much happier. I didn’t know how to be satisfied with all I had. If I go back to my chilhood, I want to tell your advice to me.

    • gounn permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:42 pm

      “Every man has a fool in his sleeve.” There are not a perfect person in the world. We are all valuable people. We accept ourselves. Don’t put yourself! Be confident!

    • peach permalink
      December 5, 2015 12:09 am

      I have exactly same problem with your friend. I think, for me your advise is really good advise and encouragement. If I were your that friend, I will certainly be moved.

  16. Gloria permalink
    December 4, 2015 7:18 pm

    “My friend is having a trouble with a sleep. Although she do not finish her schoolwork or important tasks, she falls asleep so easily at night. Then she wakes up early the next morning and accuses herself. She says that she cannot bear sleepiness especially at night. What should she do?”

    I think there is no need to accuse herself because of a sleep. Everyone feels sleepiness at night and this is a natural occurrence. However, if her sleepiness is more severe than others or if she wants to change her habit sincerely, it is necessary for her to develop an ability of enduring a sleep. First, make her develop a physical strength. People who have a weak body especially can feel fatigue more easily, so they cannot endure sleepiness at night. Thus, developing a physical strength through exercises can help her overcome sleepiness. Meanwhile, it is a good solution that you make a bet with her. For example, whenever she falls asleep on condition that she do not finish her tasks, she must give you money in return for her sleep. This can look like a ignorant and harsh way, but must be effective because she may not want to be deprived of her money. If it is really hard to treat sleepiness, it can be better for her to wake up more early in the morning and do tasks, or finish important tasks in advance.

    • 5sman permalink
      December 4, 2015 10:41 pm

      Oh, your advice is quite specific. I agree with especially your point that people who have a weak body can feel fatigue more easily. I think it is not a matter of personality or way, but a matter of health.

    • Comet permalink
      December 4, 2015 10:55 pm

      I also come up with your last advice. Thus, change her life pattern. It can be more helpful for her to sleep totally early and wake up totally early. For example, sleep at 8 or 9 pm and wake up at 4 or 5 am. And then she can do her assignments at the early morning. Also, depending on the time, such as exam period, lessening the sleeping time will be needed.

  17. pugn permalink
    December 4, 2015 8:03 pm

    “My friend has a trouble with her boyfriend about phone contact. She wants to contact with her boyfriend more often, using Kakao Talk. However, her boyfriend usually doesn’t see Kakao Talk for many hours or more. He said, “When I’m doing something, I usually don’t see the cell phone. I’m sorry, but it’s my old habits.” My friend complained about this to her boyfriend for many times, but they still have this problem. What should she do?”

    Well, this is my friend’s real anxiety. When I heard it first, I thought it’s just a trivial problem. But she said, when she send Kakao Talk message to her boyfriend, he doesn’t read her message for more than five hours. The problem is that it repeated everyday. Even if she talked to her boyfriend about this, he always said ‘Sorry, I’ll try hard’. She really loves him and believes him but she wants to contact more often with her lover. Recently she was worried so much about this problem that she felt depressd. I said to her that he seems to not care you. Of course he might be busy, but it doen’t take long time to send a tax message to girlfriend. I think too much contact between girlfriend and boyfriend isn’t necessary, but her boyfriend doesn’t contact to her for so long time. I just advised to her that she should talk seriously with her boyfriend about this problem.

    • gounn permalink
      December 4, 2015 9:54 pm

      I think she had better break up with her boyfriend. Although it is just trivial problem, she is really afflicted at such a trivial thing. If her boyfriend truly loves her, he doesn’t give pain to her. They need to consider their relationship deeply.

    • 5sman permalink
      December 4, 2015 10:03 pm

      Well, I think this is usual problem most couple suffer. I saw many couples that break up due to different way of contact. I agree your point that they need to talk seriously about this problem.

    • Comet permalink
      December 4, 2015 10:45 pm

      Breaking up can be a hasty decision. Well, what about appointing the exact time for contact? For example, the time from 10 pm. to 12 am. should be put aside for her and her boyfriend to exchange their texts. Then her boyfriend, if very busy, will keep his promise.

      • pugn permalink
        December 4, 2015 10:52 pm

        That’s a good way. I’ll suggest her to make an appointment of contact

    • pugn permalink
      December 4, 2015 10:49 pm

      mistake… tax->text message

    • asdf permalink
      December 6, 2015 9:31 pm

      One picks up the phone and opens Kakao talk, types some messages… and send. It only takes 30 seconds or less. I don’t know how busy he is, but I think it is the matter of sincerity, not the matter of time. Your friend would be better to have some serious talk with her boyfriend.

  18. jellyman permalink
    December 4, 2015 8:46 pm

    My friend having problem with her school life. She isn’t satisfied with her university and major. The curriculum and the level of university is quite different to what she was thought. What should she do? How can I help her?
    Many university students suffer from that problem. Especially students who decide major by grades of scholastic aptitude test. In my opinion, your friend feel too much pressure of university life, it is better quit the university and try to find another way. University is just one method to achieve goal. It helps broaden one’s sight and give more opportunities. Of course that does important role in life, but it’s not all the part of life. Finding one’s own, suitable way is better for your friend’s future. University is the place which learning advanced knowledge. Your friend don’t have to be suffer from that. Prepare for future’s jobs or career can be done without that course. So what I want to recommend your friend is that find a new way which is suitable for her and have a new beginning.

    • Comet permalink
      December 4, 2015 10:27 pm

      Well, I think quitting the university can be a extreme decision. Before this, how about a leave of absence for one semester or a year? In my case, 2 years ago, I could not express just one sentence in English. So, I decided leave of absence for a year, and then just studied English all the year around. So now, I can, if not perfect, at least make one sentence in English. Or, if the major itself is problem, there is another way. Changing her major or transferring to another school. This will be worth a try.

      • asdf permalink
        December 6, 2015 9:33 pm

        I agree with you. Univ diploma is still very important in this society.

    • 5sman permalink
      December 4, 2015 10:34 pm

      Yeah, if her major does not suit her, she need to time to find another way. However, if her anxiety is close to the problem that she have a difficulty catching up the level of university, she should be careful not make a rash judgement.

  19. gounn permalink
    December 4, 2015 9:33 pm

    “My friend has various problems. First, he suffers from many assignments. Second, he did not decide his future direction yet, despite of his old age. Third, he does not have a girlfriend because of no time and no money. What should he do?”
    Time will solve the first problem. He took 7 classes of major so they give many assignments. He brought it himself. He should not complain about that. This semester will be finished some. He needs to use a little patience. The second is big problem. He should decide his future direction. It is so dangerous to try something without the goal. The third is very difficult to solve. I need your help. I will wait your comments especially the third.

    • Comet permalink
      December 4, 2015 10:36 pm

      I think that it is important to make opportunity to meet the opposite sex. So, Going to the clubs, such as volunteering club or rock band, can be a good way. Every Jack has his Jill. There will be a person who can understand your friend’s circumstance. Say him, just try it.

    • stanley permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:11 pm

      Your friend’s problem is same as mine… haha. Unfortunately, there is no proper solution about the third problem.

  20. Sunn permalink
    December 4, 2015 11:33 pm

    “My friend say yo me ” i don’t like myself,i want to have confident what can i do for me?”
    though my freind has pretty face, intelligent brain, she didn’t think she is okay,i think the confident, or self easteem is very imporitant element in one’s life. depending on how i belive myself, the all the things could change toward positive or negative. my friend’s the trouble used to at my circumstance 1years ago. the time is hard for me to overcome mistreating myself for long time. i used to cry at some circumstaneces and i didn’t want to ecounter these feeling in future. through browsing the internet, and book, in the result, the important thing i find is love my self. since that day, i was trying to praise myself everyminute, i say silently “you’re charming, and kind, smart.’ the prasing myself brought me a positive change. first of all , my face expression changed more delightful that the past. it coud attracted many friends, even who is not saying “hi.” 1years ago. seceond, i become having the wide consideration about others. and i could respect my friend’s worthy once more as well as me. stil, i didn’t comepletly overcome some distrubing circustances and can’t earn complete confident oneself. but important things is growing and developing more and more, time goes by. finding oneself’s worth and lovig my self must have brought you happiness.

  21. Todgo permalink
    December 4, 2015 11:34 pm

    “My friend has addicited the game called League of Legends, so what should he do to stop playing the game?”

    Like the friend, I have loved playing computer game like Starcraft and Warcraft. I dedicated my whole time to play the game because I feel happy when I win the opponent in the game. However now I stopped playing a computer game 1 years ago because i feel that there are many other valuable things in the world except the game. Thus, I have a few solutions to escape from the game addicting. Firstly, I recommend him to make a girlfriend. He is absorbed in the computer game ,so he has no time to meet girlfirend. However if he made a girlfriend who can give him a advice then his life will be changed. Secondly I want him to travel. When traveling, people usually broaden their sight about the life and anythings around us. Thus, if he travel, he will find other valuable things instead of the computer game. Lastly, I recoomend him to make a schedule to play the computer game. I respect the computer game if he play it as a hobby for 1 or 2 hours a day. The scheduling will help him to prevent from the addiction. These are what I want to suggest, so is there any recommendation?

    • sleeper permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:53 pm

      Travel can be a solution for various problems, not just for a solution of game addiction. Two month ago I suffered from too many assignments, felt tired about myself and felt that I overwhelmed from my daily life. After midterm exam, I went trip just for three days but after that I totally forgot what I was concerned. I could refresh myself and came back to my daily life with light and happy mind. Travel is really cool. I plan to go trip this winter too!

    • Comet permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:59 pm

      lol, oh I mean Laughing Out Loud. Anyways, I also used to spend time in playing computer games. However, like you, now I do not games anymore. I think it is helpful for him to make himself too busy to play games. How about taking more than 7 classes in the next semester?? 😆

    • asdf permalink
      December 6, 2015 9:40 pm

      I think, to quit something addictive, an extreme decision will be the most effective (or only effective) way. How about suggesting him to delete his LoL account? Some friends of mine could escape from the “devilish game” by this method. (It is sad that few of them made another account and play them again.)

  22. sleeper permalink
    December 4, 2015 11:44 pm

    “My friend has a problem about boyfriend. Actually, she has no boyfriend and she always said that she wants to have a boyfriend. Always!!!”

    Um, either she or I have no boyfriend. So we talked many times about having boyfriend.
    Recently, almost all of her friends have boyfriend so that her loneliness is going to be deeper and deeper. As one of the person who has no boyfriend, I want to say this to her “Without boyfriend, we have so much fun and live in a lovely days more than couples!”
    I advised her before that if you want to have a boyfriend, you should go on a blind date or give more efforts to meet somebody!! But her answer was that she has no confident to go it. I really surprised what she said because I thougt she is one of the confident person I knew. Thus, I hope she has confidence of herself. It is true that she has many attractive points. I wish she realizes about this.

    • gounn permalink
      December 4, 2015 11:59 pm

      Many students have this problem. I am same. My friends including me want to have a girlfriend.

    • asdf permalink
      December 6, 2015 9:49 pm

      I think your friend do not need to have boyfriend unless she come to love or like someone.
      However, all of your advise sound perfect! Definitely going on a blind date or meeting diverse people will raise the possibility of getting boyfriend. I hope your friend meet someone good.

  23. peach permalink
    December 4, 2015 11:53 pm

    My friend has trouble in doing assignment. She usually doing assignment the day before deadline. Truthfully me either, I usually doing put off doing my assignment until the last minute. Me and my friend always said next time I will do my homework in advance. However though we always had regret putting off homework, It is really hard to change habits.
    So I thinking of advise for my fried and also for myself.
    To solve this trouble, I recommend to making day planner. Check planner everyday and remind you I have to do this today.
    If you don’t change a bit while you make day planner, how about setting a little penalty to yourself? For example, If you didn’t finish assignment to do today you would treat your friend to a meal. Checking each other and to avoid penalty, we might try to keep our plan.

    • peach permalink
      December 5, 2015 12:02 am

      “My friend has trouble in doing assignment. She usually doing assignment the day before deadline.” I forgot it 🙂

    • stanley permalink
      December 6, 2015 1:57 pm

      hahaha.. She looks the same as me.. I also always do my assignment the day before deadline.You said that it is a kind of problem, but I have a different idea. For me, doing assignment the day before dedline makes me a state of tension, and it also makes me concentrate to generate better results. It is a kind of catalyst for me.

  24. stanley permalink
    December 4, 2015 11:59 pm

    “One of my friends concerns about everything that he is faced with. To be specific, he lives with a state of tension. He always worries about something and looks uneasy. Usually, when he talks with us, he does not say a lot about his everyday life or some topic that we are talking about, but only speaks actively when he talks about his significant problems. And, this is a really serious problem that it is getting worse as time goes by. What should he do and how can I help him?”

    I think there is a simple but an effective way to solve this problem. To say, “Get out of your cause of worries and Loosen up! Make yourself comfortable.” It is the first step that understanding and acknowledging that there is no definite answer in our life.

    • stanley permalink
      December 5, 2015 12:55 am

      (There is some errors in my computers… so the paragraph was deleted partially)
      So, you do not have to look for the surest road. First, it is difficult to change and accept it at a time, but if you always stand by him as a best friend and help him to have confidence by encouraging, the change will be accelerated.

  25. Richard permalink
    December 6, 2015 1:39 am

    One of my friend has trouble in select a job or do something by himself. In the beginning, he worked as a area management in a supermarket. The job is tiring and boring and with low salary. The unique reason for him to insist on that job is his girlfriend working near him. But the problem is his girlfriend earns much more than him, his girlfriend said to him that she doesn’t mind it. He is very trouble now and don’t know how to choose.

    Advice: In my personal opinion, I think everyone should have their own dream and choose the job they love, he think his job is very tiring and boring, the only reason for him to insist is his girlfriend. In this kind of situation, I think the wise decision is ask himself what he like doing, then think about girlfriend, or he will lose himself. Another advice is he should think about which is more important for him between a pleasant and girlfriend carefully, if he think a pleasant work is more important, he should find new job or do something himself without concerning his girlfriend, if he thinks that he can tolerant boring and tiring work for staying close with girlfriend, it’s also okay to do it.

  26. asdf permalink
    December 6, 2015 8:58 pm

    Perhaps the most common anxiety in the university will be the love affair problem. Because these anxieties are so general , they are tend to be underestimated and regarded as trivial things. However, being common does not mean it is bearable. Some of our friends feel extreme pain from the love problems. Therefore, we’d better to be more careful and sympathetic when we deal with other’s love problem.
    For me, I was not careful before. I had thought all the fuss about love are not serious and pass away quikly. But after knowing that they are not, I have changed my mind.

    Few weeks ago, a friend of mine said that he have a problem with his girlfriend. That is, he thought he does not love her anymore. He was hesitating between two options : breaking up or trying to like her again. If I was like before, I would say like this “What are you waiting for? Just break up.” However, for this time, I tried to be more thoughtful and gave him some advise.
    First, I said he should ask himself that if he surely does not like girlfriend. Human feeling is profound and tricky, so sometime we are deceived by our feeling. If my friend mistook temporary boredom for the end of love, he will deeply regret after breaking up.

    Second, I said he should try to explain his status to his girfriend honestly but carefuly. With conversation, couples can find their problem and improve their relationships. Who knows that his girldfriend has the same anxiety with him?

    Lastly, if he decide to break up, he should take 100 times more efforts then he did when he confessed his love. I always have had complaint that people usually do their best to make love, but they break up carelessly, impulsively and selfishly. It will be very, very wrong to make the his girlfriend, the one who he loved more than anyone in the world at one time, miserable and painful. Of coure it is impossible to not hurt her feeling, but if he decide to break up, he should consider and be prepared for everthing to make the “Best farewell”

  27. 얄루 permalink
    December 6, 2015 11:31 pm

    My friend has a trouble with her future. After she ruin her entrance exam twice, She became a person who doesn’t have a dream, doesn’t to do anything and doesn’t know what she has to do right now. It is a seriouse problem i think because she regards herself useless and idle person. She always has a negative idea about her life.

    For my friend, i want to say you are not a useless person. Because there are lots of people who like you including me. And i also understand that entrance exam is really important in Korea but do not think negatively because you are young and have more time. Your friend and family are always supporting you! I will wait your decision and support your opinion all the time!

  28. MINA permalink
    December 9, 2015 9:36 pm

    One of my friends is very impulsive and often feel bored. Therefore, she changed her major too. Of course she also feels some difficulty studying changed major. Her part time job is also changed very frequently. It seems that she can’t do something for long time.

    I think her life itself is very irregular. The time when she wake up and go to sleep also continue to change, extremely. However, my advice is little unusual. Just let it be and enjoy that life. Because she, herself accepts this problem both as severe thing and as unsevere thing. Her feeling is always riding a roller-coaster. As if she has bipolar disorder(조울증). But the one thing interesting is that she leaves on a trip at any time, any where she wants. She is so impulsive that when she think ‘I want to do 000’ she really ‘do it’ right away. Maybe the reason she works part time jobs, even if she always changes the work types, is for journey. We are still young, and I think she lives very exciting, unique, and attractive life.

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